tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39201710492844030712024-02-18T22:42:23.015-05:00Floortime Lite MamaLife. Love. Autism.Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.comBlogger456125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-10314699847552340502020-10-31T01:54:00.007-04:002020-10-31T01:54:59.648-04:00Another random week in 2020<p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"> Everything that I could say about 2020 has probably been said. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">On the whole, its not as bad as it could have been because I am with my two favorite people in a house I love, with so many books to read and movies to see .My family a video chat away.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><b>Friday </b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">A dear friend I met via work is leaving Seattle. He lost his spouse this year, unexpectedly. Living in the house they bought and decorated together, with minimal external interaction has proved difficult and so he is back to London. I have always really liked G but we got particularly close this year</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">I don't think I told you but we lost Miss Chrissy in July . She cleaned our home twice a week for 8 years. In fact, she cleaned our house on a Friday and died on that Monday unexpectedly. Her loss has been very hard to deal with. She was so nice to R, only 52, one of the truly good ones and my house is full of little things she thought we would like. The reason I bring her up here is that G and I got closer this year because he gave me a lot of comfort on how to cope with the loss of someone you love. His theory is that when you love someone - they never really go away. </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgelwvotcH_6B73HALfjdlg5CKdygNyYfFCsYYFI3RRYhc7iFjPMuzI2h8c3kExQAngpYhEgDXkZvlrNOQFWl-sxltuVa9J40PIouhITJVKF4ADDKpAr7wqXs7ntcFh31748rt78D1xJr3S/s855/FB_IMG_1596662616001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="855" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgelwvotcH_6B73HALfjdlg5CKdygNyYfFCsYYFI3RRYhc7iFjPMuzI2h8c3kExQAngpYhEgDXkZvlrNOQFWl-sxltuVa9J40PIouhITJVKF4ADDKpAr7wqXs7ntcFh31748rt78D1xJr3S/s320/FB_IMG_1596662616001.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p><br /><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">So on Friday we have a "going-away" party for him. Basically we all have a fixed schedule of a 30 minute window to stop by to say goodbye - socially distanced and masked of course. This has the unexpected bonus of getting one on one time with him. I have noticed this about 2020- some unexpected things have happened that would not have happened without the isolation. A friend with an international career had a video party for her 50th with people from about 20 countries. On my birthday my team organized a Harry potter quiz ( I am a Potterhead). </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">This pandemic is a total nightmare of course but its good to make the most of what we can while we wait for it to be over ? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC9WzWePAK-w0OKUrwIE9SUc20qoO5Rm6jictMASl8GCLD-8Uy3bYYlMPFpmw5b7BQVAlfYZbhTAmdz7aQjfVOIUsmP5cs-j24-3qS3UeK9Ck9QmWaTKZjXCxHZKwvevzzjYsTSwoUQkBh/s4032/20200918_144019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC9WzWePAK-w0OKUrwIE9SUc20qoO5Rm6jictMASl8GCLD-8Uy3bYYlMPFpmw5b7BQVAlfYZbhTAmdz7aQjfVOIUsmP5cs-j24-3qS3UeK9Ck9QmWaTKZjXCxHZKwvevzzjYsTSwoUQkBh/s320/20200918_144019.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">R and DH come with me. Both have an essentially quality of "come-withness" . I tell R that he can take his Ipad and listen to music but can he buzz a little less. When we are there and he is listening to a little Trotsky and flapping his hands excitedly for the music crescendo- I ask him if he can flap a bit quietly. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">He repeats my rules "No flapping and no buzzing for 30 minutes" solemnly and makes my heart turn over. </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieSc4Iz960a26GrSWZ8dyaV7kVkIDgZktQjdqPIBbBn6HoydhUva6lFvEzCzZMmyqTUHd5UwaMMeYGEd8zPSIg3UqEzzp11Nn2S3D9aiWTP8-Gf3s1DnaBXLpr2Pf-PoyIPwR_4Vs99wOe/s4032/20201023_174236.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieSc4Iz960a26GrSWZ8dyaV7kVkIDgZktQjdqPIBbBn6HoydhUva6lFvEzCzZMmyqTUHd5UwaMMeYGEd8zPSIg3UqEzzp11Nn2S3D9aiWTP8-Gf3s1DnaBXLpr2Pf-PoyIPwR_4Vs99wOe/s320/20201023_174236.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>We stop by Jack drive through to get R a fast-food meal as a treat for being so good, get some groceries and go home </span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">Friday nights, DH and I have a ritual of watching <a href="https://www.hbo.com/real-time-with-bill-maher" target="_blank">Bill Maher</a> and eating dumplings for dinner. And today we are starting another Binge- worthy show- <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Mirzapur-Season-2/dp/B08LHBG7VC">Mirzapur whose Season 2 </a>has just dropped. So good !! Despite these temptations and although I have also started a suspense novel- <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42080142-the-turn-of-the-key#:~:text=The%20Turn%20of%20the%20Key%20is%20a%20compulsive,with%20a%20few%20surprise%20notes%20at%20the%20end." target="_blank">The Turn of the Key</a> ( the ending of which on Saturday - I am sorely disappointed by) , we are in bed by 11.30! Its way past R's bedtime , but he still comes in to snuggle, smell my hair and get a tight hug. I cannot skip or shortchange as he times me :-). </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><b>Saturday </b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">I wake up at 8.30, go downstairs and make some French Press coffee. Since I figured out how to fully take apart the French Press in order to clean it properly, I have been drawn back to the delicious rich coffee it makes . DH makes fun of my coffee obsession ( he IS justified - I have a Nespresso, a pour over, a grind and brew, a Capresso for cold lattes and 3 kinds of French Presses) . But the truth is I really enjoy my variety of ways of coffee consumption.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjVwkmsSfXEM7RwekrcirN06sEMDX4f1Ky6RfJdmOLADTOBnUU34H_8wHEmxqPJm266_JB1o_2M4cAYpYqX8X8EDIcjx5bcgMC2o277fL_OlQ0VRJzd5ukZ2696HECUXeCV6WLtaByWTb6/s4032/20201018_085903.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjVwkmsSfXEM7RwekrcirN06sEMDX4f1Ky6RfJdmOLADTOBnUU34H_8wHEmxqPJm266_JB1o_2M4cAYpYqX8X8EDIcjx5bcgMC2o277fL_OlQ0VRJzd5ukZ2696HECUXeCV6WLtaByWTb6/s320/20201018_085903.jpg" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">Its our typical cold rainy Seattle fall day and I really love them because they are so perfect for things I love like tea-drinking and book reading.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"> I wake up R and DH with compliments and snuggles and then its time to start the day. DH usually does all the grocery shopping and these days R and DH have a ritual of going to Costco together. While they are out - I vacuum our living area, fold and put away a load of laundry, empty the dishwashers and reset the kitchen to a pristine state while listening to my book, and get lunch started in the Instant pot.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">On Saturdays we always eat Choley ( Garbanzo bean curry) DH's late dad had a superstition that if you eat garbanzo beans on Saturday - you will accumulate wealth . Since we love rituals - this has now become a standard </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYimnjQ04bEE8Y6vICBHDectUv3H130MVw3A2XrduexYHYSiTHVbEyiHpuXJV77IcV43N-IWMeWdUJBj24ibAujq20Jp3BNw9FRgTH9E8nKciSf-NT6axMvpQvu8pGfyGu2Khc74Uvenz2/s4032/20200425_121804.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYimnjQ04bEE8Y6vICBHDectUv3H130MVw3A2XrduexYHYSiTHVbEyiHpuXJV77IcV43N-IWMeWdUJBj24ibAujq20Jp3BNw9FRgTH9E8nKciSf-NT6axMvpQvu8pGfyGu2Khc74Uvenz2/s320/20200425_121804.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">Once they are back, the house is sparkling, groceries are done and we enjoy our lunch which is DELICIOUS ( I am an excellent cook for the things I love). I will plan out our meals for the week later but we have a rough idea of the kinds of things we need for what we regularly eat . Salad, cucumbers, avocados, pomegranates, spinach, grapes, asparagus, tomatoes eggs and sausages etc etc . DH and I are super organized people. when its just the three of us -the house runs like clock work . When we have guests, they are nonplussed by my need to know a week in advance </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">In the afternoon - we need to make a trip to the Under Armor store. Its DH's birthday on Monday and we both much prefer to buy our own presents. All our money is <u>our </u>money so its never a surprise since we can see our withdrawals. SO now the rule is we buy our own real present ( I got the Kindle Oasis for myself this year) and the other person just has to do cards and chocolate for DH and cards and flowers( for me) </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">The shopping is quickly done . DH is a quick chooser - the only thing that slows him down is trying to be more parsimonious, but i urge him to remember these are birthday presents and he should splurge </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">Our drive back is gorgeous - the sun seems to hit the trees at just the right angles to turn the trees to light</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvZJRMAQyek1Tx2m1N95zdbOf8mFNCfLBeqMe_l5Ja5xdOb4V6E0VZxZiAz-JgPFxMk64P4r8RCWHVA-C7-sEiCMAqNMyFgQFDEV25zZoOp-FnLYttPaxVaDH2j5VCc3gwnsVdKUeEC6qy/s4032/20201024_171949.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvZJRMAQyek1Tx2m1N95zdbOf8mFNCfLBeqMe_l5Ja5xdOb4V6E0VZxZiAz-JgPFxMk64P4r8RCWHVA-C7-sEiCMAqNMyFgQFDEV25zZoOp-FnLYttPaxVaDH2j5VCc3gwnsVdKUeEC6qy/s320/20201024_171949.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">When we get back home, DH wants to relax and drink tea, but I am perishing to walk, so make tea for him and get a snack ready for R and step outside for 2 miles in the cold air and the grey gold of a Washington Fall day. I continue with my book but the protagonist is such a ninny ( this is the problem with Ruth Ware novels. A fantastic writer, bar one device that she overuses. She creates the uneasy atmosphere mostly by statements like "<i>my nerves jangled", "a sudden sound shattered the silence"</i> - which is then followed by something commonplace like - "<i>it was just my mobile phone</i>". Makes me want to shake her protagonists and tell them to grow a spine.) So I switch to self help book.</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">The walk is SO lovely . The dark descends and the half moon is visible. Its so great to see how people decorate their houses for Halloween . The moon comes out and one house looks so cute and spooky ! </span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQgzViGx5qJokgu45Z6GWplDTHPyK2HQ1T37jwBo5yJaVqlt-RCglBPLhthquRfVY6UrocwQOeUC5BkAII1RuE1PZ3ci1sLdHQ0nN592w-WDMCCYOk3lvnu_zGaXS9hHm93NDlbcJ7dYiC/s4032/20201024_183856.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQgzViGx5qJokgu45Z6GWplDTHPyK2HQ1T37jwBo5yJaVqlt-RCglBPLhthquRfVY6UrocwQOeUC5BkAII1RuE1PZ3ci1sLdHQ0nN592w-WDMCCYOk3lvnu_zGaXS9hHm93NDlbcJ7dYiC/s320/20201024_183856.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><b>Sunday </b></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">I have finished "The turn of the key" last night and I am feeling at a loss with what to read now. I did not like the ending ( oh how I hate open ends) so there is that too. Like magic, a bunch of Mary Westmacott books become available and I am so glad to have something to look forward to again </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">We celebrate DH's birthday today ( even though its officially tmrw- he keeps a fast on Mondays- so meats and sweets must be eaten today :-) and of course we always pre-pone not postpone) . R has written an exceptionally sweet card - he and I did research on messages to be written on cards . </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">I have learned this in the many years of being R's mum.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">When auties don't do a great job with writing /doing traditionally sweet things, much is made out to be an empathy/psychology problem where is its usually a dont-know-how and did-not-know-why problem </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">I decide to go back to our usual bakery instead of the new 85 degrees and its an AWESOME decision. </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><br /></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzKtkOXi5afxBnXQdyIArRul37OzRLeKL-VRvbAWajztHSP2ihKY_7D5JYq8OISHxset2hSSclqM4M1onijZ9Lj8ZljFiG67EzRSstBtx8Ua_tUCDVTaGOVoD5t4eoFmzJKF5K3NMUOHKP/s1600/IMG-20201025-WA0006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzKtkOXi5afxBnXQdyIArRul37OzRLeKL-VRvbAWajztHSP2ihKY_7D5JYq8OISHxset2hSSclqM4M1onijZ9Lj8ZljFiG67EzRSstBtx8Ua_tUCDVTaGOVoD5t4eoFmzJKF5K3NMUOHKP/s320/IMG-20201025-WA0006.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">DH responds to all the people who wish him individually- he actually types messages to everyone - not even copy paste as it seems fair to him to type in return for typed messages . ( I am usually confounded by how much logic these two seem to have ) </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">We are also planning on starting a diet and as per usual we have a feast before </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><b>Monday </b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">Is DH's actual birthday - I have saved time in the day and the glorious sun comes out. Oh how we PNW folks treasure the sun. We stroll past our lake - (really I marvel at the joy of having a park and a lake so close by) and have a lovely time</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhe6nzRvoXULFxYOQx0JxmUbC_iAnpc_H98SehS61MnzcXKyxUJdz08xdeptkS2WxRhO6rBUNJNEP_NCuYFk6cHWviTRXQsmH-GgYelaJjnhQvTh8hZhbc6J1LLOSl85kw2jnAmkCShYQK/s1440/IMG-20201026-WA0004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhe6nzRvoXULFxYOQx0JxmUbC_iAnpc_H98SehS61MnzcXKyxUJdz08xdeptkS2WxRhO6rBUNJNEP_NCuYFk6cHWviTRXQsmH-GgYelaJjnhQvTh8hZhbc6J1LLOSl85kw2jnAmkCShYQK/s320/IMG-20201026-WA0004.jpg" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><b>Tuesday </b></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">I am in a sudden panic. I suddenly realize that the year is passing by without having made enough progress on my core- priorities. This is typical of me - I work in intense periods fueled by panic - and the rest of the time - I procrastinate while feeling vaguely guilty . I work madly. I also manage several walking meetings and oh my - the Fall trees are gorgeous all around me </span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRJWrRz3PTPRriOnhxiwqs3dWJ9WlMkCW7YKU0jSw7mNYztHitFkhuRV8I84jcHd0MxEtNnUmQ3TQ3n9a78OsTqE4jdzqgsQjHYhIJkR2_LsT2rdhAAlneG-fU3KNIDvD9NX7g5mOLMwMo/s2048/20201028_170531.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRJWrRz3PTPRriOnhxiwqs3dWJ9WlMkCW7YKU0jSw7mNYztHitFkhuRV8I84jcHd0MxEtNnUmQ3TQ3n9a78OsTqE4jdzqgsQjHYhIJkR2_LsT2rdhAAlneG-fU3KNIDvD9NX7g5mOLMwMo/s320/20201028_170531.jpg" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><b>Wednesday </b></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"> I did not write in my gratitude journal today- so i don't remember much of today - except it was a blur of meetings - but I started Matthew McConoughey's book Greenlights on Audible( his voice is a treat) and finished "The Murder of Roger Ackroyd", which no matter how many times I re-read- its still fresh. Have a small argument in the Agatha Christie book group about whether the artwork on the cover is justified or not. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">How I love book groups and our innocent passions !</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJG-2UOlVKNCOBJKmMq0wuTkm-FXvataWW_Hsudv4s5htYS1DtN2lpxwLjcNj5fEWCS5Bl3G8H-0sH0PwhPUr2Z15LR8VddYEsTQmBWdGcm3mpDq1W41ynYxohB-ff6XNEEpWHF-O2FXq-/s2280/Screenshot_20201028-082445_Kindle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2280" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJG-2UOlVKNCOBJKmMq0wuTkm-FXvataWW_Hsudv4s5htYS1DtN2lpxwLjcNj5fEWCS5Bl3G8H-0sH0PwhPUr2Z15LR8VddYEsTQmBWdGcm3mpDq1W41ynYxohB-ff6XNEEpWHF-O2FXq-/w205-h320/Screenshot_20201028-082445_Kindle.jpg" width="205" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><b>Thursday </b></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">Was a day of many milestones and work and consequently I am wiped out in the evening. I am grumpy in the evening as DH takes too long to come our for a walk with me because the daylight will be all gone ( Seriously - y'all - we are a light hungry people in the PNW - especially as winter comes closer) . But OMG its even better - because its a clear moonlit night - so beautiful - it fairly takes my breath away ! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">So many times I don't get the thing I want in life, and then sometimes I get something even better !!<br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkuYPLEmba5m5smTLT4HXwYYRgQJT6db3PRBDHvVbLx5GPzQxjbpnQHybujrZ3s-_OxXEyGHi8kN0fnIkdYWkopMHX2FhQTVeeatSe2cfiM2-mpxiKVUPWyH4mtz_PMAraFfzYAPfTOMQe/s4032/20201029_183940.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkuYPLEmba5m5smTLT4HXwYYRgQJT6db3PRBDHvVbLx5GPzQxjbpnQHybujrZ3s-_OxXEyGHi8kN0fnIkdYWkopMHX2FhQTVeeatSe2cfiM2-mpxiKVUPWyH4mtz_PMAraFfzYAPfTOMQe/s320/20201029_183940.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">When we are having our goodnight reading and snuggles and compliments ( yes dear reader, I still read a story to R- its one of our rituals that is precious to both us - as we will often have some special conversations) - R tells me that he would like to ask Santa to be his third grandpa so he could call him regularly .</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">Later as DH and I are reading and chatting - R knocks on the door to tell us to go to sleep :-) </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">The boy hates to be left out.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><b>Friday</b> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">A busy day at work. I have a meeting with that colleague from last week -he is leaving on Monday for London. I am feeling quite awful about it . I am also remembering all my last days in cities ( as an Army kid - I traveled a lot . When I worked and was single /student- I also lived by myself in cities like Bangalore, Delhi, Athens etc.) </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"> I clearly remember the desolation of last days. Your stuff is packed and gone mostly. The walls are empty. You are enveloped in the awful realization that the days, people and memories passed, will never come back. On an impulse, I ask if he will come for brunch with a mask and 6 feet apart on Sunday. He agrees and I feel so happy about it </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">I persuade R to come to the playground- I wipe the swings carefully with Clorox wipes - he tells me warningly that he wants to swing for a long time- while I walk around and stare at trees. He has many rituals that he wants to do and many places that he likes to feel the wind - so this takes a long time</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">I walk back to our house, looking so welcoming and lovely with DH's artistic decorations . I and R are only allowed to lug the pumpkins up from the store room - all the actual decorating is done by DH - as he (correctly) tells us that we have no artistic abilities.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnAiLUyjrT4o2B1i0oUqjVJEXo_xolFfydhVjNKEmgJOm939T449LB8DZ2jAfGU5GRj6E4uujVx1XJ4vSoeP86vm5J9IqREY4m7DmIxPpnMyiPENiBXWXH51NAXxxogj6ao5hYsPrUVlr8/s2048/IMG_20201030_182814_688.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnAiLUyjrT4o2B1i0oUqjVJEXo_xolFfydhVjNKEmgJOm939T449LB8DZ2jAfGU5GRj6E4uujVx1XJ4vSoeP86vm5J9IqREY4m7DmIxPpnMyiPENiBXWXH51NAXxxogj6ao5hYsPrUVlr8/s320/IMG_20201030_182814_688.jpg" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">Well dear reader - if you have still stuck on through reading about this week - I must sign off now. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"> R is calling for his book and goodnight routine . </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">I must say, I enjoyed writing this post. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">The days seem to run together these days , but while describing this week - it made me realize how precious and distinct each day is. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">That when I think back, some time in the future, I wont just think of 2020 as that dreadful year - when life came to a standstill- for in this year too - was a week filled with love, joy, business and beauty!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;">Until next time !</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><br /></span></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Source Sans Pro;"><br /></span></p>Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-37156790809102695682019-09-02T21:08:00.001-04:002019-09-02T21:08:02.948-04:00A random update of the last days of Summer <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>"I<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">wish there was a way to know you're in "the good old days", before you've actually left them."</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><br /></span></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">"</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1a1a1b;"><i>"I'm happy that this was all filmed, so I can remember everyone and what we did. ……I worked for a paper company all these years and never wrote anything down."</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #1a1a1b;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #1a1a1b;"><i>"</i></span><em class="_7s4syPYtk5hfUIjySXcRE" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #1a1a1b; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How did you capture what it was really like? How we felt, and how we made each other laugh, and how we got through the day... how did you do it"</em></span><br />
<em class="_7s4syPYtk5hfUIjySXcRE" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #1a1a1b; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></em>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><em class="_7s4syPYtk5hfUIjySXcRE" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #1a1a1b; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">"</em><em class="_7s4syPYtk5hfUIjySXcRE" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #1a1a1b; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things"</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><em class="_7s4syPYtk5hfUIjySXcRE" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #1a1a1b; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></em></span>
<span style="color: #1a1a1b; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">I was watching "The Office" Finale today. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1a1a1b; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #1a1a1b; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">The last lines of each of the characters reminded me of why I used to blog .I started as a way to connect with other parents dealing with special needs. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1a1a1b; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1a1a1b; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">But it became a record of my time along with the feelings of that time. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1a1a1b; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1a1a1b; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">A blog is better than a photograph or a video because you interpret yesterday's photo with today's perspective. But you cannot do that with a journal. </span><br />
<br />
And so I am back - years after my last post - just telling you about a few random days<br />
<br />
(I am talking to you, dear reader, even though I don't know if any of you still come here. Or even if people really even blog any more. )<br />
<br />
Summer was so busy - usually all our friends/relatives come and stay with us during the summer (Only a special kind of person would like Seattle in the winter. Luckily we are that special type of person. I always find the winters really restful here - a way to explore the great indoors - read books - watch movies - feel that delicious sense of Hygge)<br />
<br />
We traveled quite a bit - around Western Washington- barely leaving the State on our many trips. This State is so beautiful. In addition , this summer was really mild which also meant no forest fires<br />
<br />
We had many many guests over.<br />
<br />
One new thing about R is that he loves having guests over. Instead of waiting for them to leave, he now eagerly asks when the next set will arrive. Its not just all the going out and the Sprite and eating Subway too. He really truly enjoys them. Our friends for the most part are very accepting of R too. Now that he is a bit more grown up and interactive the constant stream of advice has lessened, which has also helped us to be free to enjoy people more.<br />
<br />
<b>Friday</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
May be my absolute favorite day of the weekend. Even the dentist whose lecture on periodontal disease ( she is annoyed, because I absolutely refuse to take out my wisdom teeth, but now cannot say it any more since I explicitly said that I want no more advice on talking out wisdom teeth)<br />
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<b>Saturday</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
I listen to Harry Potter all morning and do a massive clear out of kitchen appliances. Due to our smallish kitchen we have slowly upgraded to appliances that multitask, such as the instant pot that takes place of pressure-cooker +slow cooker +rice maker.<br />
<br />
Some friends of ours have their kids starting Grad school in Vancouver our clear out, will mean a stock up for them. DH and I hate throwing things and when they delightedly accept our offer<br />
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With the smugness of a super productive morning behind me, I settle down in the deck to read my book and drink some tea. R comes out and joins me. He is the most terrific company, content to simply have his legs resting on my lap, while we are both busy in our respective devices. </div>
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<b>Sunday</b><br />
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Sunday I wake up with a feeling of happy anticipation.<br />
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I have recently bought Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on Audible ( this series may be my favorite re-read) and every day I wake up with joy thinking of listening to the book.<br />
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Saturday's kitchen clear out has also meant that I have found my old Cuisinart Grind and Brew. DH had given this to me many years ago. We had laughed at a review on amazon which said that " This is a great coffee maker for a person who likes to spend their whole day cleaning the coffee machine" . Laughed, because in those days when I worked in Bush's Baked Beans with a leisurely pace of life - I could not imagine being so busy that the few minutes a day would feel like a hassle.<br />
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The pace of life has gone up tremendously since moving to Seattle. Somewhere in the beginning of our time in Seattle, I bought a Nespresso. I am used to now waiting those 15 seconds impatiently, as it brews a cup.<br />
<br />
I have been thinking of late that I want to shift my mindset. Feeling frenetic is a state of mind. Taking the few minutes to set and program it in the night and waking up to the sound of it grinding the beans puts me in a good mood. DH and i do our usual coffee + news on our phones in bed.<br />
<br />
Today for lunch we are doing to Downtown - we are meeting a freind of ours who works in the Gates Foundation. She prepares lunch for us and is a huge fan of Hello-Fresh since she now gets to try out things she would normally never try. I take my lunch with me since I am not a huge fan of unusual meats and flavors. R is so delighted with her. She lives facing the ocean and has a really beautiful apartment furnished with things she has collected as she lived in various African and Asian countries<br />
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The sky is so blue as we drive back- even though its Sunday, I am looking forward to the coming week which will end in a 3 day weekend<br />
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<b>The week</b><br />
<b></b><br />
Is super intense. Most people are back from their vacation which means that the temporary Summer lull is over and its the usual Microsoft that I both love am exhausted by.<br />
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Every day is full of meetings, while the evenings pass with needing to tend to some email while also doing the evening routine of dinner exercise etc<br />
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<b>The weekend </b><br />
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I start the weekend the right way with a date lunch with DH at a fantastic café at Microsoft called Ingredients. The food is REMARKABLE and we pledge to reinstate a monthly date lunch ( I will tell you at the end of September if we are able to continue on this plan)<br />
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We cook and clear up on Saturday. Our friends will stop over for the weekend and we don't want to waste time cooking, while they are here from Canada. Since we have an open kitchen, there is also no way to put your headphones on and cook by myself as I like to do. (I also am odd in that I don't like people helping me in the kitchen. The nicer our friends are, the more they have a hard time not helping. They assume I am being gracious despite my repeated protests that they should just sit and let me cook in peace. To avoid this we end up pre-cooking)</div>
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I cannot describe how nice these friends here. Its easy to understand why their 3 sons are so sweet when you meet the parents. Each night they are here we stay awake and chat till 1 in the morning </div>
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R especially is smitten by D. Besides a business, she also runs a sort of animal rescue. She is mad for ALL animals ( dear reader- the true extent of this is made clear to me when we watch the latest Jurassic movie, and I find her sympathetic to the creepy Indoraptor. This is more clarifying than even her veganism) </div>
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Because of her ability to bond without words- R is inseparable from her. </div>
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Monday the last day of summer vacation seems to move in slow motion. </div>
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R comes and snuggles in bed with us in the morning and we read - all 3 of us together - in a way that we haven't in a long time. </div>
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We drink a last cup of tea before our friends leave, with promises to meet again next year </div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: black; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I come and sit in our deck to finish this blog dear reader - our deck that is a little bit of paradise - thanks to DH's alchemist touch with flowers, plants, color and architecture in the perfect sunshine of a September day.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: black; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">R comes out with a Tinker crate kit to make a paper plane launcher and DH comes to help. </span></div>
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Dear reader sometime the beauty and perfection of life takes my breath away. If I could press pause, I would. </div>
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But I can't. So I write- hoping to bottle up my bliss</div>
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Adieu until next month </div>
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Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-92119646732058512652015-09-28T13:09:00.001-04:002018-01-24T16:33:09.137-05:00The minutiae of a random weekend <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>Dear Reader </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>I have been absent without excuses and now I am back just plunging you back into the excruciating minutiae of my life without explanation.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>This is a post I found in my drafts from July that I am editing and publishing</i><br />
<i>K </i><br />
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<b><br /></b><b>Saturday </b><br />
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Somewhere earlier this month I resolved to prioritize my life according to my values and decided to be more patient at him<br />
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The patience thing is really paying off<br />
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I am back to truly enjoying R<br />
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It was 9 am when I sort of woke up - I do this pretty regularly on weekends when R lets me ( also I had slept at 2 am due to an interesting book) <br />
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DH finally urges me to wake up as my sister has been sending alternating kisses and threats on Skype(this is her signature move)<br />
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My mum and dad are staying with her right now so I talked to everyone. <br />
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My sister talked about the difficulty of finding a good protein shake in India - she has finally found a chocolate one which she does not like to make into a smoothie- but makes it into a <i>paste </i>and eats it as baby-food.<br />
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This is MOST strange but it works for her.<br />
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She takes the tablet outside so I can hear the rain pouring. <br />
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Monsoon is serious in India<br />
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In her house they have a big balcony from which you can see the Himalayas as well as the road downstairs to people-watch.<br />
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In this way you can satisfy your spiritual and social side both <br />
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R was of course made to exchange pleasantries which he did in a most reluctant fashion and only under the threat of not going to the Mall today ( holiest of places to him) <br />
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DH and I chitchat in bed.<br />
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We usually do Facebook sitting side by side.<br />
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He argues on politics and I look at funny things and pictures.<br />
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I also make fun of the people who post all the cheesy stuff ( like "<em>marriage is 90% hard work and 10% romance</em>" "<i>Mothers are the best. Share if you love your mother . If you don't share it means that you don't love your mother</i>")<br />
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I find this really funny article on bad spellings in India.<br />
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DH and I are in splits and R is so jealous that he had not had any attention that he put his face right next to mine and shouts <i>"Mama sleep in R's bed"</i><br />
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I plead for 5 minutes so I can get my Nespresso and then sit with him and read for a while longer.<br />
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We go downstairs and got everyone fed ( R his Kale/spinach puree to counteract the junk he will eat for the rest of the day, DH Chole Bhature and me protein shake ) <br />
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I get ready</div>
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This is a selfie since DH is shouting at me to hurry up and would most certainly have not taken a photo.<br />
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I have cut my hair short as really love short hair though DH says that I have the hair of "<i>all-middle-aged women now"</i><br />
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I have told him that since I am 40, its fine for me to look middle aged now.<br />
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But I have also resolved to grow it out again.<br />
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Who wants to look middle aged even if they are- that too to their love?<br />
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Last weekend - I cleaned out my cupboards and was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of clothes - I have and had sworn that I would never buy any clothes for atleast two years.<br />
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DH assures me that this resolution would not last 24 hours and he was quite right. Enough said <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEi-e_docVCHXUW0Uy8G-ryjGJByiYxZuoLh8DCWTnVAfhitajU7jWlVIZJUWNY6gdBarEkdrKpcTZyfrmJVEAV27AyJhT2zjxYYrI8D2f_DWfR5QGupIJbV877iYkcPrG-fXC3sciD37EmDrIsTkTh8x1V5p0PIeo2cXg=" /><br />
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We get R's shoes ( as he has outgrown everything). <br />
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We do his two rituals<br />
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Ritual 1: Take photographs of the elevator at Polo Ralph Lauren. " <i>Its a Schindler</i>" he tells me gleefully and watches through the gap in the door.<br />
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Ritual 2: Buy an oven roasted sandwich with creamy sirracha sauce and black olives and a bottle ( not cup) of Sprite at Subway <br />
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Then we drive home <br />
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Over the years I have realized that our best chats are usually in the car<br />
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In other situations we tend to have a lot of electronics. But not in the car<br />
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Its why I have started to enjoy road trips.<br />
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Apart from cursing at the other drivers (who are too-slow/reckless/stupid) DH is really fun in the car <br />
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We make fun of pretentious homes and signs( <i>The Villas at the Lake starting at the low 700's</i>) make up stories about the people in the cars next to us<br />
( today there was a lady in a Fiat actually shouting with hand gestures at her DH - saw her later in the Mall holding hands), air grievances ( <i>who is the one that cleaned up R's closet ultimately?</i>) and generally connect.<br />
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We run a few more errands. have a great time at a Walmart of all places and eat a yogurt parfait that I am really partial to (from Mcdonalds) and then finally head home <br />
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Today even without trying I have done 10K steps on fitbit<br />
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I am super tired so just do a few chores while listening to Agatha Raisin on my phone and then make dinner( Asparagus and Turkey Cutlets - the latter which <span style="background-color: white;">DH h</span>ad cooked last weekend and I had portioned and put away in the freezer ) and watch Seinfeld <br />
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Then I clean the mudroom<br />
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In a box I find Christmas ornaments that R had made in 2007 - just 3 years old in the best special needs school I have ever seen in Knoxville.<br />
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His photo is so sweet and the ornaments so darling that I just sit and cry.<br />
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Oh goodness - I have so enjoyed these years and this child and I wish i could live them again.<br />
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All this nostalgia and sentimentality wastes a lot of time and its very late.<br />
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R's Saturday tradition is to sleep downstairs in the couch and he has already brought down his fan( he must have a fan on or he cant sleep) <br />
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We cuddle and I tell him all the usual nonsense of how lovely his company is and bid him goodnight <br />
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I write this in bed until<span style="background-color: white;"> DH de</span>mands that I turn off the lights .<br />
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<b>Sunday</b><br />
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One of the weekend days is a fun day.<br />
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Today unfortunately is the work day - Sunday.<br />
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Still I wake up late- DH is already up - perched with his tablet looking smug at being the first one up.<br />
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Last night he was deaf to my challenge of " <i>are you a spineless worm who is going to sleep or a brave lion who will stay awake and read with me</i>" <br />
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R comes up to- he snuggles with us for while with his tablet<br />
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- but to prevent DH and me from chatting- remind me that since last night's special treat was that he sleep in the couch in the living room - that now its time for "<i>snuggle with mama</i>" on the couch.<br />
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This is one of his signature moves to make a separate world with me.<br />
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I go downstairs make a cup of Nespresso. I cuddle per request and watch an old rerun of <i>"How I met your Mother?"</i><br />
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Then Miss D is here and R is off - he is wearing shoes with laces for the first time ever.<br />
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DH loves to eat out so we go to our new favorite restaurant La Isla<br />
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DH and my food tastes are for the most part mutually exclusive but this restaurant has both pork( his fave) and beans and rice( mine)<br />
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We walk around downtown Redmond and chat about all the changes we would make, were we in charge of the decorations and management of downtown ( instead of the troglodytes that have made the current decisions until its time for our reservation)<br />
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The food is epic. Fried plantains - are maybe my favorite thing to eat of all time<br />
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Once we get home we start on the epic job of cooking and preparing for the week. Here is my lunch tower for the week<br />
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Also we make R's Dinners ( pureed veggies with chicken ) and DH chops up a lot of vegetables that we will use up over the week<br />
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This dreary set of activities takes about 4 hours - Then R is whining to go to the club for the bounce house.<br />
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I am so taken aback by how easily he is climbing( to be sure other <b>4 </b>year olds are climbing right along with him- but it still feels like great progress)<br />
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We return home and OMG I still have so much work left !!!-<br />
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I had many grand ambitions on Friday and had started decluttering the mudroom and my jewelry cupboards - so I get my book on tape on and get to work solidly for the next several hours.<br />
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And that my dear friends is a typical weekend at my home.<br />
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Full of work and fun and love.<br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">My dear friends </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I have taken to writing about once a month – but even though not as frequent as before, I am still glad that I am a regular writer because I love to read this blog. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I am also back to taking photos. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">A blogger I used to read – wrote that she felt that by taking photos and writing – she had almost created a distance between herself and her life - as though she was seeing her life through a lens</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">But – this is not true for me. Taking a photo and writing a journal commemorates that this moment is precious and worth recording. Plus there is the pleasure of returning to it when the moment has passed </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Here is what happened this month </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>Eat less, Exercise more</strong></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span xmlns=""> In the past 4.5 months, I have lost all the weight that I gained in the last 2 years i.e. 22 pounds </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I never thought I would be the kind of person who would have 30 pounds to lose – but I became one </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I still have this another 8 pounds to go to my "goal weight"</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">3 years ago was weight was my fat weight - now this is my thin weight and people give me compliments all the time because they are not used to it!</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">The program I am on comprises 4 parts – doctor, dietitian, trainer and psych.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">The trainer is very helpful and the has made me the type of person that works out and goes to the gym and showers in the locker room without a qualm at all the women around who walk around unselfconscious in the nude </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I have learned a lot about myself </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">My dietitian's - main use was in making sure I was accountable.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">All my other observations around how I feel about food( don't care that much) why I overeat( reward rituals/habit/boredom), why dietitian bugs me so much ( because food and control are linked in my mind) came from my own reflections </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Ultimately the diet is a very useful part of the program but I don't think I ever felt good about my dietitian. I always took my weight myself as well so I never had the thrill of the "Yayyy 2 pounds down" when I went to see her </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span xmlns="">The trainer and exercise was after a few weeks what felt trans formative (even though I am sure my outward appearance was more changed by diet) </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I realized that that is because the diet is what not to do, about stopping and controlling and feeling bad about lack of control, feeling greedy and having low will power. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">But exercise is about something to do: something active. It reduces my stress and gives me joy.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I try to walk a lot</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I have a Fit bit </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I have bought the awesome TRX </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>Happiness Rituals on the weekends </strong></span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">After the Thanksgiving and Christmas break and realizing how much we all love slow time – we are all working extra hard during the week to ensure lazy weekends </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">DH shops on Thursday and Friday – we finish laundry on Friday and then each of us take turns to cook Saturday morning and Sunday Morning to cook for the week </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">DH is also on a health spree – he already works out daily at the gym but is adding diet as well- so we both have our special foods – I make a lot of Chicken Tortilla soup /DH makes a lots of Chinese stir fry. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Here is what a typical weekend looks like. As you will read through this – you will see its full of many of our simple happiness rituals </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">We all wake up in a tangle of arms and legs as usually R is in our bed in the morning and many kisses, cuddles and compliments are exchanged (lots of teasing from DH which is his love language) </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I go down to make either Darjeeling tea/Nespresso. If I turn on the coffee machine he will usually just stand in the kitchen </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">But when I pour the leaves out in the saucepan, he knows that I will wait at least 5/10 minutes for the leaves to soak.</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">So he will settle down on the couch with his iPAD and wait patiently for me to finish brewing and making this most delicious tea </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I hand DH his tea and then I have to go sit in R's bed and we read our separate books together. I have negotiated to sit on "his side" as it's the one with the bed side table for my tea</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">He quickly swaps the pillows so that "my pillow" where I put my head on each night when we write his journal </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">He loves the smell of my hair and does not want to mix up the smells </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">People talk about the greatness of unselfish love - but I have always liked most to be loved selfishly<br />When someone wants you and your presence because of the joy it brings them. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">DH calls R my "<em>little psycho</em>" – but how can I describe the deep gratitude I have for what R gives me?</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">When I am an old woman and look back on my life I think I will find that the best thing in my life might be that R loved me like this once.<br /><br />On alternate Saturdays – R has social camp and in this time DH and I go to pictures. We are finding new happiness rituals- thing that we can do together that don't involve food. We have watched "The Imitation Game" and the "Lord of the Rings" – we literally had not been to the movies in almost all of R's life and we are enjoying this so much </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">We jump on the new trampoline that DH has set up outside, go to the park when it does not rain and we always go s</span>wimming.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">R LOVES The pro club – he is also a real dandy and loves to use ALL the products that there are there – deo, mouthwash, hair spray. You should see him matching his scarves and shoes and how he preens when he blow dries his hair </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">In the little bathroom downstairs he has arranged all his beauty products in the same order - so as to have the Proclub experience at home.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Sundays we usually take a long walk while his therapist is here and then finish off with movie night (the old Disney "Three little Pigs" have been a great success) </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I am reading a LOT these days – thanks to my new Kindle Paperwhite and its been amazing. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Work is very stressful right now and my insomnia is back and so I am making a lot of effort to shut down( with almost no success) – but I have to say these rituals are make my waking hours quite joyful </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>A huge developmental leap </strong></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span xmlns=""><strong><br /></strong></span>
<span xmlns="">R has had a huge developmental leap and its killing us !!!</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">He is very very mischievous - interested in EVERYTHING.</span>My nerves are completely shot.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
<span xmlns="">Here is an example of a typical evening. The other day DH and I were trying to do some paperwork so DH could file taxes. In the 30 minutes or so that we were upstairs <br />1. R shut down a computer – in which DH had opened all his files <br />2. Emptied a frig and stuffed it full of Sprite bottles and <br />3. Called 911</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I had to talk to the operator and she asked to talk to R on the phone and luckily he scripted out " I feel good" and that he felt safe ( when she asked him) .</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Whatever he reads or hears he will try out – the other day I ruffled his hair and was shocked by how sticky and awful it felt – he told me proudly "R take care of hair – R put shampoo and conditioner in hair". I guess the back of the bottle left out the part about rinsing it with water .</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Then he is obsessed with perfume – he has a little lair in the mudroom – a laundry basket in which he puts all his treasures – the other day I found all my super expensive perfumes and equally expensive pashmina shawls. He will also usually tell me virtuously that he will "not do .X" and then he will immediately sneak around and do it behind my back. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">He is very very sorry afterwards - here he has fallen asleep on the couch after being in trouble literally holding the little plastic heart that DH got him for Valentine's for comfort</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Sometimes I laugh and sometimes we are exasperated – but always we remind ourselves to be grateful for this developmental leap (though it is much easier to parent that quiet child who ignored everything in the house) </span></span><br />
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He is also into the good things - like baking his cakes, makes his music lists , </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Has set his piano in our study room ( never has a boy hated being alone more) - he tries to make sure he is always with us </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Thinks about traveling all the time , plotting the trips he will take on a new map we have got him </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">He is also fully autistic – obsessed with elevators, department stores, Santa Claus etc – just continuing to blossom on develop on his own path.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>And in conclusion </strong></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span xmlns="">This February it's been 8 years in the world of Autism and 2 in the world of Crohn's. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span xmlns="">Every February feels like a milestone of sorts to me as both diagnoses were around the same time and each of them has felt like an end of life as we know it </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">But we have recovered and have for the most part been very happy. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">This, I think is the secret to happiness after diagnosis. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span xmlns="">To accept that life just is. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span xmlns="">That this right now, is it</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span xmlns="">No postponing joy for when you have more time, more money, less illness.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span xmlns="">But making the most of what we have today </span></span><br />
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Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-88574006943432472472015-01-04T23:04:00.000-05:002018-01-24T16:34:25.537-05:00The end of 2014 <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Dear friends<br />
<span xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span xmlns="">2014 has been rather lovely and I am sorry to see it end. ( esp as it came on the heels of a crazy 2013 and an unsettled/uneasy 2012) </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I was off for 2 weeks. 1 week was vacation and another was staycation/some work from home. This is a perfect recipe for a great vacation for me as it combines both Rest and Recreation</span><br />
<span xmlns=""><strong><br /></strong></span>
<span xmlns=""><strong>What happened in Vegas…and Grand Canyon and Sedona </strong></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><strong><br /></strong></span>
<span xmlns="">Vegas is a great place for a family vacation </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">1. Parking is abundant </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">2. Loads of things for kids to do </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">3. Great prices on hotels – we stayed in the Hilton Grand Vacations - right on the strip in a suite that is practically an apartment and simply sumptuous and it's about 100 dollars a night </span><br />
<span xmlns="">They really know how to put on a show </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">We loved the High Roller Ferris Wheel </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">the Bellagio restaurant - great place to stop if the crowds are exhausting </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">4. Its close to things so beautiful that they make your heart fill up and burst out of your chest. I am all atingle with the beauty of nature and the amazingness of humans. The beautiful things we saw were as follows </span><br />
a. Grand Canyon: The splendor of this has just taken my breath away. We were smart to stay in the Grand Canyon in a slightly dated lodge but it was priceless to be right there.<br />
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b. Sedona: The sun kisses the red mountains and turns them to fire. We took a little hike and could see the ring of fire all around us<br />
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<span xmlns="">c. Hoover Dam: Its art. No other word for this. The words inscribed here underneath the American flag that says "inspired by a vision of lonely lands made fruitful" will be in my mind forever. </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Especially after we came on this after 4 hours of driving in the gorgeous barren deserts of the Arizona and Nevada. </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">R was mad to go on vacation but as is always he was sometimes a bit of a pain. Its SO great to see his enthusiasm.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">First, we were worried when he was sick. Then he would NOT sleep the night before we were going to leave as he wanted to keep checking to see if it was morning yet </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Then we were very annoyed when he was a whiny mess. He LOVES vacation but he wants to do the same things everywhere like go to Malls - take pictures of the elevators at Macy's etc </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Still DH and I have learned to simply keep our expectations low and enjoy life in spite of his rigidities and try to balance between his need to keep things the same( so LOADS of picture of elevators were taken) and our knowledge that things need to be shaken up for him </span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>Books </strong></span><br />
<span xmlns="">I have rediscovered the pure pleasure of loitering in bed with a cup of Nespresso and a book </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Since P.D James died, I am re-reading her series </span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Unnatural-Causes-Adam-Dagliesh-Mystery/dp/0743219597/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420427624&sr=1-3&keywords=pd+james+dalgliesh+in+order">Unnatural Causes:</a> Maurice Seton was a famous mystery writer -- but no murder from his imagination could equal the ghastliness of his own death. When his grotesquely mutilated corpse is found in a drifting dinghy, ripples of horror spread among his bizarre neighbours: the cruel and cynical drama critic, the celebrated recluse, the rakish young heir, the terrified woman waiting for her killer in a lonely house.</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Death-Holy-Orders-Dalgliesh-Mystery/dp/0812977238/ref=sr_1_8?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420427624&sr=1-8&keywords=pd+james+dalgliesh+in+order">Death in Holy orders</a> :<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "verdana";"><br /> </span>When the body of a young ordinand, Ronald Treeves, turns up buried in a sandy bank on the Suffolk coast near isolated St. Anselm's, a High Anglican theological college, it's unclear whether his death was an accident, suicide or murder. The mystery deepens a few days later when someone suffocates Margaret Munroe, a retired nurse with a bad heart, because she remembers an event 12 years earlier that could have some bearing on whatever's amiss at St. Anselm's</span><br />
<span xmlns="">I read a new author recoed by my trainer </span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fault-Our-Stars-John-Green/dp/014242417X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420427882&sr=1-1&keywords=the+fault+in+our+stars">Fault in our Stars</a> Cliched plot of cancer kids and undying love. But I could not put it down. If you are in love with language, you must read John Green. Some choice quotes </span><br />
<span xmlns="">"Look, let me just say it: He was hot. A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot boy . . . well."<br /><br />"The risen sun too bright in her losing eyes."<br /><br />"One swing set, well worn but structurally sound, seeks new home. Make memories with your kid or kids so that someday he or she or they will look into the backyard and feel the ache of sentimentality as desperately as I did this afternoon. It's all fragile and fleeting, dear reader, but with this swing set, your child will be introduced to the ups and downs of human life gently and safely, and may also learn the most important lesson of all: No matter how hard you kick, no matter how high you get, you can't go all the way around"<br /><br />"Mom sobbed something into Dad's chest that I wish I hadn't heard, and that I hope she never finds out that I did hear. She said, "I won't be a mom anymore." It gutted me pretty badly."<br /><br />"His hand reached for her boob…. I wondered if that felt good. Didn't seem like it would, but I decided to forgive Isaac on the grounds that he was going blind. The senses must feast while there is yet hunger and whatever."<br /><br />""I was thinking about the word handle and all the unholdable things that got handled.""<br /><br />""That's the thing about pain," Augustus said, and then glanced back at me. "It demands to be felt." "</span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br />""Osteosarcoma sometimes takes a limb to check you out. The, if it like you, it takes the rest."<br /><br />"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars / But in ourselves." Easy enough to say when you're a Roman nobleman (or Shakespeare!), but there is no shortage of fault to be found amid our stars"</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>Ruth Rendell</strong></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><a href="http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Dying-Then-Inspector/dp/0375704892/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420429341&sr=1-1&keywords=ruth+rendell+no+more+dying+then">No more Dying then</a>: Its in the Wexford series and is an amazing psychological thriller - two kidnapped children . One mother is indifferent - almost as though she is relieved. The child was an interference to her .The second mother is devastated. I like that Ruth Rendell does not glorify motherhood<br />I liked his sidekick - Burden's – his inner world was fascinating - always he is so controlled but not this time<br /><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Rottweiler-Ruth-Rendell/dp/1400095883/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420429306&sr=1-1&keywords=ruth+rendell+rottweiler">The Rottweiler </a><br />The side story was almost more interesting - about one of the characters who has Fragile X and ADORES his aunt - has a job but no other sexual appetite at all . His mind is so childlike - all he hopes for is to have a big enough house she he can live with his aunt. I read it fast to find out the end - but it was not a good one. This handicapped child def ruins his aunt's life - I was mad at the author for making this the end</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Master-Moor-Ruth-Rendell-ebook/dp/B009Y4I3LG/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420429279&sr=1-1&keywords=ruth+rendell+master+of+the+moor">Master of the Moor</a><br />I always find it disturbing when she writes the books from the murderer's perspective ( like in Rottweiler) <br />Out of the three POV's in a murder ( detective, Victim, Killer ) I always like the detective perspective. Having said that - it was very well written<br />A man who is like a child in some ways ( married but not consummated) loves the Moor.In the moor he women with golden hair are being murdered with the hair shorn off</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><a href="http://www.amazon.com/No-Mans-Nightingale-Inspector-Mysteries/dp/147674713X/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420428187&sr=1-3&keywords=ruth+rendell"> No man's Nightingale:</a><br /> </span><br />
<span xmlns="">Who strangled the Rev. Sarah Hussain in the vicarage of St. Peter's Church, and why. The fact that Hussain was biracial and a single mother had galvanized bigots near and far, who resented her very existence as well as her modernizing the liturgy. When Wexford's grandson, Robin, begins dating Sarah's daughter, Clarissa, Robin gets entangled in identifying Clarissa's sperm-donor father—further upping the ante for Wexford. Is a white power group responsible for killing Sarah, or had a personal relationship curdled into fur</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Put-Cunning-Wexford-Case-Inspector-ebook/dp/B00351YESK/ref=sr_1_8?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420428187&sr=1-8&keywords=ruth+rendell">Put on by Cunning:</a><br /> </span><br />
<span xmlns="">Nineteen years later, Camargue's entrancing daughter, Natalie, now a considerable heiress, suddenly reappears in Kingsmarkham. When her fiancé appeals to Wexford for help, believing that Natalie is using a false identity, the case of the Camargues is once more under investigation. Events soon take a gruesome twist and the pressure is on for Wexford to discover Natalie's true identity and to solve the mystery of the Camargue family, once and for all.</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>Pleasures of home </strong></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I have a sinsusy/cold/ weakfish staycation and so very relaxed and mellow<br /><br />We love Binge Watching There is a lot of pure rubbish on TV after we have finished the A grade shows ( news Room, True Detective, Game of thrones) then the B grade shows ( mentalist, scorpian, elementary, Madam Secretary). Finally the real rubbish –( Mysteries of Laura, State of Affairs) - these woman-centered shows- I feel duty bound to like them. </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">But I don't.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">A good yarn is a good yarn and vice versa. Instead we did Netflix - Liked Wolf of Wall street( about 1 hour longer than it should have been) a Bollywood movie ( rather good and about this new generation of Indian youngsters who are so materialistic and practical)<br /><br />R is SO relaxed with the slacker schedule - he is just a cuddly, snuggly ball of love and charm and magic. Today DH was very la-di-da when I told him that R had asked me to read "Good night moon". I get it but its okay for five minutes of bedtime story I think. </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Something so magical about me saying "And the Quiet old lady whispering " .. and R adding "hush"<br /><br /> </span><br />
<span xmlns="">In the little circle of the light from R's bedside lamp - its just the two of us in an enchanted circle.<br /><br /> </span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>The start of the year </strong></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">The first day is AMAZING. </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">The sun is out shining and the ring of iced mountains that surrounds us are resplendent. </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">It's a perfect day to go for a drive</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">We do little acts of self care which I love to start the year with </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">We drop R off at Social group - then went to the Mall where I found excellent prices on Levis Cuve ID ( read fat ass) and I bought FOUR!!!</span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br />Then got to meet Molly – one of my online friends -short visit R was loud and annoying - but still I got to see Molly at least !!!!<br /><br /> </span><br />
<span xmlns="">The second day is a day of little accidents</span><br />
<span xmlns="">Missed the trainer time and got to gym an hour early ( and I really would have loved the extra hour of sleep )<br />DH called me as I was pulling into the garage - so I grazed against the wall ( luckily car is 12 years old)<br />I cleaned ALL day- I had decided that I would clear the attic and so I did - I was listening to PD james novel ( super interesting) so it was a lot of fun<br /><br />We interviewed a new therapist who has been working since 1984- so loads of expereince but who had an AOL account( which immediately made me think dated ) but once she was here - she engages beautifully with R.</span><br />
<span xmlns="">She got his attention and they read a book together. ( Pete and his buttons) She was that combination of firmness and gentleness that is super important to us.</span><br />
<span xmlns="">I have asked for references but if it works out - I think she will be a good fit </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Did other nice lovely things <br /><br />I had a massage certificate from my fat camo Massage was good - heated bed /vanilla fragrance .I really liked it </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">But not sure that I will go again as she also said a lot of vodoo things like <i>"let the healing begin</i>" and I should drink a lot of water today "<i>otherwise the massage can generate toxins which must be flushed away".</i> Plus it was a $90 massage ( +$18 tip!!!!) . I just had to pay the tip but still…<br /><br /> </span><br />
<span xmlns="">The rest of the weekend is spend in getting ready for the week. We are sorting out cupboards and our garages etc.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">This will be the year of cleaning and decluttering and organizing I think. </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I am not into making New Year Resolutions – most of the time they are forgotten sooner in a month. Sometimes life gets in the way and we have one more thing to feel bad about not getting to.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">But organising is something that is becoming important to DH and me</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><b>The start of real life </b></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Well all good things must come to an end and we are getting ready for the start of real life.</span><br />
<span xmlns="">I cannot help but wish that I could rewind the past week.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">But the trick of course is to find the oases in regular life.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Happy New year dear friends and hope 2015 brings you and your loves - joy and happiness<br /> </span></div>
Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-30250524102297881032014-11-30T21:34:00.004-05:002018-01-24T16:34:58.320-05:00The thankful week <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span xmlns="">This is a record of the thanksgiving week.</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""> I am calling it the thankful week because of how lovely it was in its ordinary peaceful way </span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>Sunday (In R's words) </strong></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><em>Today I woke up. Mama was in the study room </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Santa wears a tan.</em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Then I ate dinner. I got my allowance and then I went with Miss Darlene - </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Mama took a photo of me with Miss Darlene</em></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><em>Where is my Peter Pan Blanket?</em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>I went to Whole Foods Market, Macy's and Subway with Miss Darlene </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Then we came home </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>We went to Target - At target I bought Skittles - Wild Berry. </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>(Mama bought a present for a little girl called Aniyan - she does not have any money. The present was a kitchen set to play with - I hope she will be happy with her Christmas present) </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>I need a gift for Christmas - Macy's present- a gift card - I want 50 dollars </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Then Mama went to Bath and Body works - I did buy a blue bottle of hand sanitizer. </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>I went to Applebees. I listen to the music. I sleep in bed.</em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>The END </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>It was a good day - yes. I will smell the markers </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Miss Michelle is gone</em></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>Monday </strong></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Do you guys know that I have started this program called 2020 Lifestyles? </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Anyway 2 months in I have lost about 13 pounds and I have really started to become a "work-out person". </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">However, the program has started to really annoy me. </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Honestly I have really never had self-esteem issues – I never think, for instance, that my husband is looking at the ladies in Fred Meyer. </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">But NOW – I think about weight all the time </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I have been stewing about it for a while and today I decided to do something about it and wrote to my dietician Sarah that we need to change our approach</span><br />
<ol>
<li><span xmlns=""><em>Can't frame a week as a success or failure based on the number on the scale </em></span></li>
<li><span xmlns=""><em>Stop saying "I am on a plateau" </em></span></li>
<li><span xmlns=""><em>Stop talking about weight altogether for the time being and just focus on doing the right things.</em></span></li>
<li><span xmlns=""><em>Be okay with weight coming off slowly. </em></span></li>
<li><span xmlns=""><em>Need to add normal food in –real and normal food like oatmeal/ brown rice /real eggs/quinoa/beans.</em></span></li>
<li><span xmlns=""><em>I need to accept that I cannot eat so much meat/tofu. I added the morning star stuff like they suggested and I am looking at the ingredient list – it over-processed food that cannot possibly be good for my body. How is it better to eat this than a bowl of homemade black bean soup?</em></span></li>
<li><span xmlns=""><em>Diet is not sustainable without dairy. Without greek yogurt –every snack is so hard</em></span></li>
<li><span xmlns=""><em>Hate all the soy/egg- white shakes I am not going to try any more. </em></span></li>
<li><span xmlns=""><em>I know a huge part of the problem is that I am a very picky eater and that I don't like meat. But that is who I am and we need to accept that slow weight loss is a consequence of that and be okay.</em></span></li>
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<span xmlns="">Guess what? Sarah was simply lovely - she humbly apologized to me and she said that she should really have thought it through and that 99% of the folks who come to the program have one goal which is to lose weight – </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I felt so much better </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Just putting my unmet need out there in plain words. Without judging I, for having those needs in the first place. I love being 40.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">DH and R came to the club and I gave him a bath after swimming and we all went home.</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>Tuesday </strong></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Was simply a luscious delicious day as I spend all day thinking about how close I was to the long weekend </span><br />
<span xmlns="">Sigh </span><br />
<span xmlns="">Swoon </span><br />
<span xmlns="">How I love this time of year. </span><br />
<span xmlns="">October there is the cabin break, November there is Thanksgiving and in December the office will be so quiet at Christmas </span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>Wednesday </strong></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I had no meetings and I worked from home-A corner of DH's study room is my "home office"</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I think I really love the actual work - the politics gets me down - but the actual work is amazing.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I was in my fuzzy robe all day - R was so happy that I was "doing Microsoft at home" (sounds like those clichéd Porn movie names "Debbie does the east side) </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">At lunch I stopped and DH cooked cutlets and we ate together and watched Madam Secretary </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I walked on the treadmill for a long time - 62 minutes - 4.5 incline, 3.5 miles </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Then we watched a lot more of Madam Secretary </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">R and I wrote journal </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I love doing this with him - some of it is prompted and answers to questions because he likes to skip the detail </span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="text-decoration: underline;">R's Journal </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Today is Wednesday </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>I woke up in the morning. I went to see Marla. She was closed. Because she was sick </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Then I saw Lake Sammamish which is on the end of Idylwood Park </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>I came home </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Then I did HW .HW was very hard.</em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Then Mr. Peter will come .With Mr. Peter I did Math and Science </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>I went with Mr. Peter to the park .I went on the swings.</em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Then I ate chicken </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Mama was at home today. Mama was doing Microsoft.</em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Then I went to the center- I did Math. I worked with Jason and Stacey. They are new. Then I came home </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Then mama was home </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>I did treadmill</em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>No grinding in Hilton Fort Lauderdale Marina Elevator </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>I ate dinner. </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Then we listened to ILS - I was looking for Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. I found it in the ILS </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>I filled two glasses with Sprite and with water </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>I brought them up with me </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Then I took a bath - I was looking for the baton - its gone. I could not find it </em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>Then I wrote and journal and now its time to read a book - The book is called "Special Delivery"</em></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><em>This book is about Oswald - he is an octopus. He has got a present. The present is books. People guess that it's a hot air balloon</em>.</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>Thursday </strong></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">R, I and DH lounged about in bed till 2 pm. simply delightful.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I finished a book by Elizabeth George- a disappointment but still a decent book. </span><br />
<span xmlns="">I went downstairs and forced R to play with me by bribing him that we would go to Macy's in the evening ( Dr Greenspan would shudder at this floortime - we did Pretend play with a Thanksgiving feast and read a few Christmas books) </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">In the evening we went to Macy's. </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">R has been simply perishing to go there to take pics of the elevators </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">The problem is that he wants to take thousands of pics to get it "perfect"</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">He mails a letter to Santa - in which he says that his Christmas wish is to see Santa. His sweetness makes my heart ache</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I have been really la-di-da about the sales but I see the oceans of these gorgeous cashmere sweaters and am weak with lust.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Maybe the best Thanksgiving I have ever had</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">We watch Gracepoint </span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>Friday </strong></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Have to wake up early to go to the gym with the trainer-</span>But even the gym was great as it was super empty<br />
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<span xmlns="">Its raining quite heavily.</span>The firs are all shiny and green<br />
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<span xmlns="">People say this weather as grey and depressing </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">But I feel like I am living inside an emerald - so radiant is this green </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">When I am inside the house - it feels like the heavy rain is keeping the outside world out </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I LOVE just being at home with nothing to do but watch TV cook and eat </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">We snuggle a lot - drink tons of tea and generally have a great time</span><br />
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<br />
<span xmlns="">We saw a new Miss Maple "Greenshaw's Folly" which I could not remember reading - a major bonus </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I went to Trader Joe's for grocery shopping - which was also really empty .</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I asked R whether he wanted to go to QFC with Papa or Trader Joe's with mama </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">He chose a third option "I will dance"- and dance he did in Trader Joe's.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I bought many nice things for DH to eat so that he would not feel deprived because of my diet.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Also since I cannot eat these sweet things myself - I get vicarious joy out of watching him eat </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I bought </span><br />
<ol>
<li><span xmlns="">Pecan Pie</span></li>
<li><span xmlns="">Croissants ( for breakfast) </span></li>
<li><span xmlns="">A big Toblerone</span></li>
<li><span xmlns="">Chocolate</span></li>
<li><span xmlns="">Shortbread Jammy cookies </span></li>
<li><span xmlns="">Wasabi nuts </span></li>
</ol>
<span xmlns="">I also insisted that he get Thai curry for dinner in takeout – R got a subway sandwich - so the family s very happy </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">My one worry is R's sore which is still not fully healed - have a new course of antibiotics.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Tomorrow we have to go to the hospital to get Remicade which will depress his immune system further </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Still - this is life</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>Saturday: Hospital Day </strong></span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Like everything else this week - this went rather well as everything was less crowded.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">DH stops by the Mall to get a replacement cover for our "Lovesac" ( have you heard of this 800 dollar pillow ?) He also wins husband of the year by stopping by Macy's to get pair of boots that are for 19.99</span><br />
<span xmlns=""><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQnBEzTBvkV74aHWDmsVcERYrKzqclrWsbC5S4fgbLImPSdfeQrheSJ9dOdKIyoa4efq8FtPZjaLbFEYFyieR7R-wSpszCOWvGUJy06R_dhIeGg6dswdoaKvPnGDqka6GcBkJoBGGzU8tE/s1600/WP_20141129_001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQnBEzTBvkV74aHWDmsVcERYrKzqclrWsbC5S4fgbLImPSdfeQrheSJ9dOdKIyoa4efq8FtPZjaLbFEYFyieR7R-wSpszCOWvGUJy06R_dhIeGg6dswdoaKvPnGDqka6GcBkJoBGGzU8tE/s1600/WP_20141129_001.jpg" width="180" /></a></span><br />
<span xmlns="">It usually takes FOREVER after they take his weight to get the Remicade prepared but today it is super fast. </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I love the halls of Swedish - which I walk up and down on to get my steps for my fitbit. </span><br />
<br />
There is nothing like being in a hospital to give you perspective.<br />
<br />
<br />
There is a wall where nurses have put up sayings which are very touching<br />
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<span xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span xmlns="">His liver feels less annoyed ( nurse showed us his ALT /AST) this time but some of his inflammation markers like sed rate are up.</span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span xmlns=""> DH and I both feel very bugged by Crohns. While we were coming out of the hospital - there was a couple taking a new born home looking so tired and DH was saying "<em>What an exhausting time is ahead of them?"</em> Then I said "<em>hopefully their life won't turn out like ours".</em><br /> </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I said a silent prayer for that mom in the wheel chair and also chided myself for saying that about our life which is really very good.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Interestingly we also discussed if we had a choice and could pick one - we both said we would picks Crohn's over autism</span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span xmlns="">Though we both hate Crohn's a lot more – we complain about Crohn's SO much more than we complain about Autism ( we also crib about having 2 things – that is having Autism should have given R a free pass) </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">I cooked this afternoon. I am getting serious dislike of meat/eggs -Anytime I am unplanned - I don't eat any meat at all. Today I ate tofu and beans for protein - as a result I looked at the "dashboard" and I have only eating 50% of the protein and over 100 % of the fat and carbs :-(. So envious of those that love meat </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">DH got the fireplace burning and the lovely smell of wood was amazing. </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">We watched "Paradise" which we have always jeered at as being a Selfridges wannabe but it was really very good</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><strong>Sunday </strong></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><strong><br /></strong></span>
<span xmlns="">Since all our chores were done yesterday today was a day of rest. R was out with Miss Darlene so DH and I took a long walk.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">While it was bone-chilling cold – the sky and the lake were just so sparklingly blue </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">It's the end of the loveliest week ever. </span><br />
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<span xmlns="">When I think about when I am happy vs when I am not – I think I just need the 3 of us, some good books, some PBS shows, a fireplace and our slow paced lazy life.</span><br />
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<span xmlns="">Those are my ingredients for happiness. What are yours?</span></div>
Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-32165484317126646652014-11-02T19:57:00.001-05:002018-01-24T16:35:36.292-05:00Ten days in Paradise<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Dear readers<br />
<br />
Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while - know that my favorite place in the world is this cabin in the woods in Fall.<br />
<br />
We spend 8 days there ( with a few days before in Boca Raton owing to a conference)<br />
<br />
I wrote a little down each night in bed- so that it would be fresh in our mind<br />
<br />
<b>Boca Raton, FL - Wednesday - Thursday </b><br />
<br />
We started our vacation in Fort Lauderdale as I had a conference there.<br />
<br />
We are staying in fancy place ( not at all our kind of place) and they have a lot of super annoying things like valet parking . This means you have to tip the Valet each time you take your car in an out. ( the card clearly states that the $30 daily parking fee does not include a tip for your valet)<br />
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Boca Raton is full of old rich people. I think a comedian called it "God's waiting room"<br />
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Many strip malls have signs like this<br />
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<br />
DH told me that there was no way that I was going to be able to stay off email and work and that he did not expect me to as that is just who I was<br />
<br />
This shook me up as I DO NOT want to be that crappy sort of person and so I determined to unplug and take whatever consequences came.<br />
<br />
So just before flying from Fort Lauderdale on the way out of the conference we try to get into the vacation mindset with a stop to gaze at the Atlantic<br />
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The beach is empty except for some people who are very drunk - they have a tent that R with his terrible lack of judgment - is desperate to get into.<br />
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R really enjoys the water.<br />
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<b>Thursday, back in the room of happiness </b><br />
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You should never return to a place after a year when its dark.<br />
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I always know that and yet that is the time we chose to come back to Knoxville<br />
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It was a funny feeling<br />
<br />
I remembered so many things from the past - like when we passed the Big lots where I bought a Little people Carnival set ( that R would not play much with - but I enjoyed it so much)<br />
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All those joyful memories make me sad.<br />
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I am envious of my past and yet I know that I can never go back. Most of all, I envy the mother I had the time to me, which alas I am not anymore.<br />
<br />
We stop for groceries on the way- R insists he stay in the car.<br />
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When we get back he is crying and said he is "scared and upset".<br />
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Maybe he feels the bitter sweet nostalgia.<br />
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As we make our way up the winding steep road to the cabin and the red yellow leaves begin, I start to feel better and better.<br />
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<br />
When we get to the cabin it is pitch dark -<br />
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I open the door and step into an ocean of pine fragrance.<br />
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It is a long time before I am able to go upstairs to shower and get into bed and write this down.<br />
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I had many things to do - find two fans for R - make a stir fry for dinner - put a load of laundry away.<br />
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But all my half finished projects have left my mind<br />
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Work and my busy life is far away in the other end of America<br />
<br />
And I am here.<br />
<br />
In the room of happiness.<br />
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<b>Friday </b><br />
<b><br /></b>Is the day of the three musketeers.That is D, K and me<br />
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<br />
We all meet at a restaurant called Crus- SO much fun - we all like each other's spouses as well<br />
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D works on my health care products which have so many funny stories .<br />
<br />
Example Anal itch creme - which in a presentation had the statement that causes of Anal Itch are "t<i>oo much hygiene or too little " .</i><br />
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We just laugh and laugh and its like we have never been apart .<br />
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We talked about all sorts of rubbish topics and were as adolescent as can be.<br />
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R is with Miss S and had a nice time at the Mall eating Sbarro and riding the elevator<br />
<b><br />
Saturday</b><br />
<br />
First real lazy day in months<br />
<br />
Woke up at 8.30 with coffee and in a tangled heap of arms and legs that is R, DH and me<br />
<br />
R goes downstairs and gets his own meal which is half a Subway Sandwich ( Oven Roasted Chicken) - that he saves from lunch<br />
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I go for a back breaking walk. Thanks to the trainer- I am able to do this without actually thinking I was going to pass out<br />
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Fall is AMAZING<br />
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<br />
Watched 8 episodes on Californicaton ( and I am not embarrassed to admit that )<br />
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Shopped at the mall <br />
<br />
DH's birthday is tomorrow and I really don't know what to give him - as he really does not want anything<br />
<br />
So I put some cash in a card ( its an old joke and is not as tacky as it sounds ) and give it him with all of his favorite chocolate.<br />
<br />
R has also purchased many gaudy gifts - a helium balloon , a card that says simply "Happy Birthday Dad"( which possible appeals to his literal mind) . I ask him to write a personal note which this birthday is simply "How are you? I am 9 years old." ( On Father's day the personal note was "Papa has a beard" so this is a definite improvement !)<br />
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<b>Sunday</b><br />
<br />
Since we never have a birthday for DH without some form of pork - we drive down to Knoxville to eat at Bravo's which has the best Pork chops in the world.<br />
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R goes off with Miss Kristen- she takes him to the Fall Festival and DH and I while away the afternoon just chatting with some old friends. Oh how pleasant this is.<br />
<br />
Their adopted daughter has weirdly started to look just like her mom- my friend (kid has brown skin). I tell my friend that its as though she slept with a brown man to make this lovely child :-).<br />
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At the restaurant DH enjoys his chops while I eat my salad virtuously - then guiltily eat a few bites of his Tira Misu ( this will earn me a scolding from the dietician later as I write a food diary which she reads online ).<br />
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But goodness its DELICIOUS.<br />
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R returns with Miss Kristen and he can scarcely bear to leave her- he has loved the Fall Festival so much<br />
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<br />
<b>Monday</b><br />
<br />
We go to our house which has still not sold.<br />
<br />
Last year when we were here - R was totally freaked out by returning to our old house and would not go in.<br />
<br />
But this time he just cheerfully says " There is no furniture in 7728 Luxmore Drive" and waltzes right in.<br />
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He playes in the backyard and it makes me tear up again.<br />
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I have watched him play on those very toys so many times over the years. So many happy memories of DH building the treehouse of hunting down a slide that would also fit me large rear .<br />
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The market is bad and no one wants this old house - but how precious it is to me. Every room echoes with the smiles and laughter and tears of time gone by<br />
<br />
<br />
DH and I do boring things like - buy replacement stuff for the cabin.( I tell you -put something on market for a weekend rental and be prepared for endless breakage and repair.)<br />
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R is off with the magic Miss G.<br />
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We meet Miss T- who taught R to talk and her new baby<br />
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Its too dark to walk and DH tells me sternly that while I may think that I am "of the forest"- the bears may make me permanently a part of it by eating me alive.<br />
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<b>Tuesday</b><br />
<br />
I tell DH that I want a day to just stare at the trees today I do just that.<br />
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R and I lounge around the wrap around deck all morning.<br />
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<br />
My diet lady has emailed me a lecture - she has been watching my online diary and I have cheated a little .<br />
This( lecture) was good and today I was strictly on diet<br />
<br />
Today Miss G had a migraine and can not come to play with R which means we had to play with him.<br />
<br />
He is very bored with us -he suddenly bursts into tears - so we put him in the hot tub<br />
<br />
<br />
R has become quite mischievous - his main objective is to not get caught.<br />
<br />
So he simply tries to make sure that you back has turned so he can let loose a crime spree of epic proportions<br />
<br />
I know for a fact that he has played with my make up today as he had eyeliner on his lips and my Yves st Laurent blush is empty.<br />
<br />
It is still lying upturned on the floor.<br />
<br />
He usually never clears up the crime scene .<br />
<br />
He is eating a LOT of sugar and becoming a chubby which is very cute - but his ears are cracking and he had a nose bleed.<br />
<br />
Why is he such a wreck physically ?<br />
<br />
We watch a lot of TV - then we go down to town( Sevierville) and get DH some pork chops for dinner which he ate with joy while I eat my egg whites and salad.<br />
<br />
He downed it all off with whisky and chocolate while I have a few grapes.<br />
<br />
And there he is lying down - expressing his angry views on the Indian PM to his admiring Facebook fans, looking with his long thin legs and here I am writing in my diary with a big fat roll on my tummy on my lap!!<br />
<br />
This diet is hard on vacation !!!<br />
<br />
<b>Wednesday : A hectic day </b><br />
<br />
<u>Bush's baked beans </u><br />
Today I meet an old friend who drive down from ATL.<br />
<br />
She is so fantastic and though we have not met for 2 years - its like we were never apart- we drink jasmine tea, Hot and sour soup(we shriek in unison that the server should take the fried won tons away) and a super healthy lunch (Buddha vegetables/ no rice ) and then fight over the bill ( as in each of us wants to pay it).<br />
<br />
R spend the afternoon with Miss G - who is suffering terribly from migraines -<br />
<br />
I just think of how much suffering is inflicted on innocent souls like R, my SIL and Miss G and it makes my heart ache.<br />
<br />
I go to Bush where I got a King's welcome - everyone tells me that I should just come back and that in 2 years surely I should have seen the error of my ways. I love this company<br />
<br />
<u>Miss Lucy </u><br />
<br />
I hang out with Miss Lucy-as soon as I see her- I knew something is wrong.<br />
<br />
When I ask- she had had a book club that morning that no-one showed up to. I was super angry on her behalf and she cheered up somewhat. I think people can be very inconsiderate. <br />
<br />
<u>We pulled the house off the market</u><br />
<br />
It has not sold in 2 years and we are EXHAUSTED with reading people's reviews saying its too big/too odd/too old.<br />
<br />
I cannot believe that people are coming to look at a 180 K house with 3000 square feet- 5 bedrooms and 4 baths and a huge half acre backyard and expecting so much .<br />
<br />
We are putting it on rent and even if it does not rent - I am just glad that its off the market.<br />
<br />
I just don't want any more people walking through our beloved home making nasty comments( really - its just appalling how rude people can be - if a house does not fit your needs - just say that) .<br />
I see the realtor pull up the sign and it feels SO right you know?<br />
<br />
I feel the house sigh with relief and say thank you<br />
<br />
I stand proudly in front of the house that DH and I have fully paid off, all with our hard saved money<br />
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<br />
R runs to the backyard and played in the swings that he played in from when he was 3 and I felt tears come to my eyes at the rightness of everything<br />
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<b>Thursday : The last day</b></div>
<br />
Normally I ruin the last day of vacation by mourning the end .<br />
<br />
But- as I wake up looking at the Fall which is still in full bloom outside the window in the room of happiness- I realise that this time I don't.<br />
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<br />
<br />
Its been SUCH a satisfying week-like eating a really really lovely meal and feeling replete and not like you need to eat any more .<br />
<br />
Its also made me think of just how unsatisfactory almost all our vacations are, as R hates new places.<br />
<br />
The lack of structure makes him feel bored and there is the endless worry about food and worse drink.<br />
<br />
Mrs G is here - she is super sincere and I have told her how worried we are that in the new system there is no structured way to teach fiction and play.<br />
<br />
She has taken R to McKay's - a treasure trove of second hand books and kind of a landmark of Knoxville.and they have brought a whole series of books - the Magic School Bus as well as the Arthur Series<br />
<br />
She has driven all the way to the cabin - (I am so touched by this- especially since she acts like this is nothing) - as she thinks that R and she need a quiet place to read.<br />
<br />
DH and I take one very long walk and I am delighted to see that he is huffing and puffing as well.( he is very superior about his running abilities and when we are walking frequently asks me if I am "deflated" Hindi word for which there is no English equivalent.)<br />
<br />
At every turn of the road there is more stunning view. Its like the forest is saying "So you like yellow green.. wait till you see the orange red I have in store for you. See the pictures below to see what I mean .<br />
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R and DH lounge about in the hot tub ( R loves all these sensory pleasures)<br />
<br />
R wants a quick set of pictures of the signs around the cabin and we take some last few pictures.<br />
<br />
We wait for the sun to go down to do all our chores .<br />
<br />
DH and I have resolved to come again next year if we can.<br />
<br />
But for now we say good bye to the beloved forest.<br />
<br />
Until we meet again<br />
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Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-62162772310766545722014-09-02T00:14:00.001-04:002018-01-24T16:36:16.222-05:00R, A and K at the start of September <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">My dear readers </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Can you believe its September already? Since fall starts early in Seattle – we can already see the glorious reddening of the trees and that delicious nip in the air.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Unlike Seattle natives - I am not a huge fan of summer and am rather glad it's over.</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">I am looking forward to the cooler air.</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Even the return of the soft rain and the queer emerald light of trees that are so green that you could sink into their depths and never reach the end of the color.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Here is what we did and thought in the last few months </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><strong>ILS</strong></span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">We started the Integrated Learning System </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br /> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Its classical music that you listen "through the bones in your head"</span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br /> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I have started this with great skepticism as it sounds like so many of these airy fairy autism things.</span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br /> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">But DH who is both parsimonious and not easily swept away has decided that we will shell out 2500 dollars for it. </span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">This is a serious vote of confidence!</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">So I start with a spirit of resigned cooperation ( all married couples know this dance, I am sure) </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br /> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">R does not like this much either.</span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br /> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">He keeps telling me that it's not the right music –"</span><em style="font-size: 12pt;">its Beethoven' sixth symphony 4<sup>th</sup> movement"</em><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> – which is a terrible thing apparently while he wants </span><em style="font-size: 12pt;">"Beethoven's 9<sup>th</sup> symphony 3<sup>rd</sup> movement</em><span style="font-size: 12pt;">" or something like that.</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Anyway I start with threats – that I will not take him to Sears (whose Hydraulic elevators are a particular object of passion right now) if he does not</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">And over the days it becomes a habit and he willingly enough submit to this therapy for 15 minutes daily.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Turns out DH was right about the efficacy of ILS. There are many unexpected firsts that have come </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br /> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; text-decoration: underline;">Imitation of emotion</span><strong style="font-size: 12pt;">: </strong><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Example: We were reading a story (the peddler and the monkeys who stole his cap) I dressed a toy monkey and made R shake his fist and say "You monkey you". And he was really able to do it. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">My autistic boy pretending to be a character from a story and acting out an emotion.!</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Expressing original opinions</span> Example: One day when I told him that he had a new therapist to replace Kate and said the name was Peter. He said shocked "Peter is a man??" I want a woman"</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Focus, Attention and with-itness: </span> No example for this - but I think you know what I mean </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Seattle Autism Center </strong></span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">We have been here 2 years and only now do and only after being forever on the wait list - we have the great fortune of getting an appointment at the Seattle Autism Center.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"> Most of these appointments usually work out to be useless and we never learn anything new – the only satisfaction is that at the very least – we are leaving no stone unturned.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">I act with an outward cynicism (this is one of superstitious beliefs that if I don't hope for anything – something good will turn up. Sometimes I exaggerate my lack of hope for this reason. A second reason is the realists' coping strategy – if you don't expect you are not disappointed) </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">But in my heart, I am 100% hoping that there might be something that we don't know, but they will.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">In the car, I tell DH that if they ask us for "his history" and "our approach", tell us we are "great parents" and hand us brochures with "information"- I am going to blow my top.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">I want them to spot something tangible- something that we were missing in his overall developmental plan. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Maybe tell us why language is so slow for him despite us doing all the right things-Speech therapy 3-5 times a week for the past 6 years, enriched environment, Floortime, tech apps etc) <br /><br />Two young women usher us in – after we waited and filled out a 1000 forms. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">The artwork around - made by autistic children looks promising </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />Then they introduce themselves and say that they are brand new. One is a nurse practitioner and the other is a trainee <br /><br />I feel the hot anger rising within me and find myself saying <br /><br />"<i>We have been in this journey for 7 years- we really aren't looking for any feel-good validation or brochures about therapies – we are really looking for an autism specialist – someone who has seen a lot of autistic kids and can tell us a bit about the road ahead .. And you both are obviously just out of school"</i></span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />They both look nonplussed and then recover with effort </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />As I look at them, I also realized that it isn't their fault. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">They are nice professionals who did not have any answers beyond the basics on Autism.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">We go on tediously over his whole history –when did autism start, when did we notice something "was wrong ?" blah blah blah </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">( all of which DH has meticulously filled out in the forms – but we still had to say it out as well while the nice lady takes copious notes) </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />Then- - they tell us that we are "<i>amazing</i>" and "<i>doing all the right things</i>" and they handed some brochures on "<i>information in the area</i>" <br /><br />DH tells me later that he did not think I was very nice. <br /><br />But I am frustrated - Surely someone should know more about autism and what to do than us?<br /><br />In the car we discussed why I was upset and why DH is not .</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">The thing is that even after all these years I feel that there is something that could be a step change for R- instead of this incremental progress. After all the time looking for a magic answer -there isn't one <br /><br /> </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Autism just is.</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /><strong>Acknowledging that A& K have certainly changed </strong></span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">The only useful part of this appointment was that while explaining R to these folks, I discover the following things about us – we have certainly changed over time as autism parents </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />1. First, we are perfectly fine with R's autism (it's a different kind of acceptance than the "autism-is-a-gift" style of thinking that others and I have had in the past. I don't think around the gift-curse pivot any more) </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />2. We are fine in every way – but language –that is the only thing that actually makes life harder for him</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />3. We don't sweat too much over his lack of peer interaction. This is a problem only for others. He is certainly not friendless just because he has no friends of his age. In fact R is more beloved than many children I know with a strong network of family, adults and therapists.</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />4. R has a sense of humor but its only for himself- for instance he uses his Augmentative Speech app to type in jokes for himself.</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />5. In the chaos that he surround himself with there is great symbolism and harmony. You just need to understand him – like when he take Pablo, Leo and Linny to the park – it means that he is going to go a place where there will be an elevator that goes to P( for Pablo and for "Parking" ) and L and L for Lower Lobby. </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">This(set of letters) for instance is a portrait of Bellevue Downtown. </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Letter R is for him and the other letters stand for Macy's, JC Penney, Hyatt Regency( he cannot pronounce Regency as he has only read and not heard it and his mis-pronunciation is so cute) Nordstrom etc ..</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/End%20of%20Summer%202014/WP_20140829_003_zps81b537c1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/End%20of%20Summer%202014/WP_20140829_003_zps81b537c1.jpg" /></a></span></span></div>
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">We just understand R so much better than the professional. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">6. We don't question why certain things bring him joy – they just do. R cannot explain the pleasure of a Macy's gift card with no money in it anymore than I can explain the pleasure of ice cream . The only difference is that since the pleasure of ice cream is so typical – no one asks for an explanation. Whereas R's joys are seen as peculiar and warranting deciphering.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><strong>The new therapist </strong></span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Is VERY VERY nice. Despite being a man R has taken to him So nice in fact that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Grans</strong></span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">The grans are visiting and really really bonding with R- they have always had love - but a connection is so much more.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">I think my MIL does not like this house as much as the one in Knoxville .</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">But she is falling under the spell of this majestic state</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; text-decoration: underline;">Here are the "minus points"( as Indians say) of our Seattle house </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">First she loves us to be all together and the guest room is on a different floor than where DH watches TV </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Second -there really isn't a garden – there is a forest -since the little forest behind our house has a stream that goes directly into the lake – we are not supposed to interfere with the natural things </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Third, the house does not have any home improvement projects as it is a fully done house </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">All these things are anathema to my MIL as she is a very hardworking woman who loves leaving things better than she found them.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Ma says that she sees a LOT of improvement in R – R has really started getting connected with her as well – </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">This was all thanks to a breakthrough moment. Y'all may know that R is obsessed with perfume?</span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">One day R had been smelling DH's Polo Fragrance and had lost the cap. While DH was telling off R – MIL found the cap for him Oh how the tragedy turned to triumph</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">MIL and I have a common bond that is unique mums of kiddos with special needs have ( my SIL has a seizure disorder)</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">The other day MIL told us that if she had only given my SIL Phenobarbital when she was 4 months old – she would not have developed a epileptogenic area. </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">That my SIL probably had encephalitis.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">I feel so sad for Ma as I totally understand these feelings of guilt -this particular brand of guilt – the feeling that we could have prevented something bad for our precious ones is something all special needs moms know all about </span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br /> </span><strong style="font-size: 12pt;">Sightseeing </strong><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">When we first moved here – a Seattle transplant who lived in TN though her heart was clearly back in WA ,made this ridiculous statement .</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">I asked her – what do people do all the time because it rains so much?</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">She answered "there is so much to do that you will be laughing and crying at the same time. Laughing </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">because you are enjoying all the activities and crying because you don't have the energy or time to do more. </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">There is THAT much to do in Seattle"</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Guess what? She was totally right.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">WA may be the most beautiful place on earth. Here are just a few photos from some of the glorious places we have been </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Leavenworth</b> : Fake German Town but SOOOO gorgeous </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Space Needle by night-</b> Even more beautiful.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Kahler Glen and Wenatchee</b>: Dear goodness - the endless skies and the bluest lakes.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Deception Pass</b>: The ocean that swirls in mysterious layers</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Seattle Waterfront </b></span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Portland Japanese Garden:</b></span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Mt Helen:</b> The Volcano that blew its top ( the legend goes she was jealous of her man Mt Rainier who had another woman – another mountain whose name I forget- Surely must have been a legend created by a man.) </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><strong>2020 lifestyles </strong></span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Guys – in the past two years of being in Microsoft – I have gained an enormous amount of weight and lost a ton of fitness</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"> I have kept putting things off for when I have more time.</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">But I have come to realize that this messy, busy, beautiful life is not going to calm down </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">That I need to make a real change and invest in my health and energy without waiting for the right time </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Since I am turning 40, I have decided that this will be my birthday present </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">So this is it - guys I am doing that crazy program where you eat crazy things and work out crazily.</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Wish me luck and hope that you see less of me in my photos in the Fall and Winter </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /> </span> </span></div>
Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-22777417607367248242014-08-04T19:26:00.001-04:002018-01-24T16:36:52.891-05:004 weekends with Guests and a Wedding<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">My dear readers</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">If you have been wondering where I have been – I have been busy with guests this summer</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><strong>4 weekends with Guests </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">DH and I learned the following rules after running the A& K B&B</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /> </span><br />
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<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Meeting different guests show you all the different people you have been over the years- I dont think I have changed too much - everyone assured us we were just the same ( only fatter) </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Don't make too much food unless you know exactly what your guests like -- we made a lot of food that we ended up being wasted</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">You can be blunt – these are your close friends. One day when everyone rushed into the kitchen to help clear up – DH just told them firmly to put all the plates in the counter and leave it for me as that is what I prefer. I could have hugged him – I was that grateful.( It is one of the most annoying experiences of my life with 2 people standing in the tiny kitchen- emptying the dishwasher and asking me questions at me as to where each cup and plate and spoon should go)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">R does really well with guests (MUCH better than I expected) but he is growing up.Still its important to give him some downtime. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<li><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">He and I still need down time – DH somehow does not. On sightseeing days he would just take them by himself and I and R would stay at home</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Our guests were hassle free. These are all people with multiple servants at home. But they soon saw that DH and I were the butler and maid respectively so the all pitched in and cooked and cleaned and sometimes DH and I would eat a meal where we had made nothing </span><a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/July%202014/WP_20140707_007_zpsfd3c593c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/July%202014/WP_20140707_007_zpsfd3c593c.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Here are all the guests who were parts of our lives over the years </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">From when DH was in school in 1970's these guys stopped in and they were running a biking tour for kids </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">From when DH was an engineer and was dating someone else </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">From when DH and I did a Forestry internship - Sambalpur in Orissa in 1996 and our team was kicked out of the Forestry guest house( place were govt. officials stay and sometimes poor interns are allowed to stay for free as well ) and an alum who had never met us – offered us a place to stay for 10 days –</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""> Now 18 years later he lives in Texas and N has become like a brother to me and we are super close to his family- I really love his wife and am amazed by the pure acceptance that R gets with their family. Imagine we would never have met had we not been kicked out of the Guest House </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">From when DH and I just met and we were studying Forestry in 1995in a small town in Bhopal – I was 20 when I met DH and I met and we used to live on Instant Noodles( Maggie was the Indian brand ) and D& P became really close to us - DH and D ( below) also went to boarding school together.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">They met when they were 8/9 and below are there two sons aged 8/ 9 almost 4 decades later.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><strong>Work </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><strong><br /></strong></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">A couple of weeks ago, I spoke to my dear friend from my past job – he asked if I could still come back if they created my dream job.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">I was surprised to realize that the answer was No </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">When did this change happen – when did I start to feel like Microsoft was home? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Things are not any less crazier ( in fact if you read the papers you would know just how crazy they have been) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">It's not just that I have adapted to Microsoft – its also that I am still managing to do things "my way "( touchy feely way) and that Microsoft seems to be giving a lot of importance to the soft skills side .</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">For instance -the other day I had a team off site and did things in a completely Bush way – example one of our exercises was to share something that no- one would guess.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">We learned a lot of interesting things about each other – example someone shared that they women was an Israel soldier and a professional athlete, One very proper person said that he had started out as a professional DJ. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">For me it was that all the major decisions in my life have been on impulse- marrying DH( we literally fell in love at first sight and decided to get married the first week of being together – despite having next to nothing in common), choosing MR as a career, moving to America, coming to Bush, coming to Microsoft </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><strong>R and imagination </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><strong><br /></strong></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">R finally has real imagination – real bonafide imagination.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">This is more than just the recreating of scenes which he still does. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">For instance, he has been reading a book called "caps for sale" – a story about a peddler who stacks a bunch of caps on his head to sell them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Now of course he has to stack the caps on his own and my head </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">We look like fools I can tell you . But I am so grateful that R is showing SO much imagination – that I do not care one tiny bit </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Plus there is real imaginationblooming.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Nowadays when he tells me to make something imaginary go "higher higher up" he looks at the imaginary object in the sky and I know he can <em>see</em> it </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><strong><br /></strong></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><strong>God </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">As we have had so many visitors – inevitable the question of faith has come up umpteen times. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">I will confess that my child have two life altering diagnoses before turning 9 have made me want to ask god – why my child?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Here are the various bits of advice </span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Visit your family deity and ask for help </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Go to a gurudwara – but always tell God that you accept whatever god has in store for you </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""> MIL, who is a super practical person had a long discussion with us on spirituality. MIL was talking about how in her cancer days – she had been feeling completely broken down and she decided to talk to God without any specific prayer. She had felt something physical rise within her and felt a connection to God and then she had just calmly surrendered to whatever would happen. In Christian literature this would probably be called "grace". In Hinduism they refer to this as the rise of the "Kundalini". And she never felt sick again during the chemo etc. She has been cancer free for 13 years </span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">The god platitudes (<i>god loves you more – so has given you extra trouble.. your child is just suffering from evil deeds of past life</i>) give me the hives.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">But faith feels good. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">While I acknowledge all the anger of these past couple of years</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">I also know that I want to believe and that the two qualities of "acceptance" and hope that faith can give you are beautiful things.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><strong><br /></strong></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><strong>My sister</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><strong><br /></strong></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Dear readers, do you know how close I am to my sister? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""> She also writes(infrequently) in this cute <a href="http://ourqualitycircle.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">blog</a>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">My dad, mum, sister and I are on an email thread that we all respond to - so on a normal day - I get at least 3 emails from them</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">She has moved to Dehradun- which is a small town in Uttaranchal. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">This is the place where DH is from. MIL and SIL live there now in a gorgeous house.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">And coincidentally my sister and I were also both born in Dehradun ( though DH and I would not meet for 20 years) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Now that she is in Dehradun and going to all these places that I used to go to - I feel more incredibly nostalgic than ever </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">I feel so nostalgic for the days when my niece was still a toddler ( she is now in college) we were buying her ladybug books from the stationary shop ( uniquitoud stores that sell books as well as school and office supplies) – I can see it in my mind's eye like it was yesterday and I right there in that little market behind our house</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<br />
<b>A wedding </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Today we went for KS's wedding – R was so excited.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">We dressed up to the 9's and discouraged R's plan to wear PJ's</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">We love Miss KS- Alas she is leaving us because she is getting married and moving for her husband's job</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">She send me this special note a couple of weeks ago. Read it and you will know why she is so special to us </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">A<i>bout 2 weeks ago I wrote on his white board. "R I have something I need to ask you." He looked up at me. "I am getting married soon and I wanted to know if you want to come?" As he I watched his eyes read each word he started to smile. He took my pen and wrote in big letters "YES". Then I wrote something else "After my wedding R, I have to move away." I watched again as his eyes skipped past each word. He looked up, clearly confused. I then wrote, "I am moving to San Diego on August 15th." He looked down and then grabbed the eraser and erased what I wrote. I left it at that, days went by and I would check his search history and find things like San Diego, hotels San Diego, and San Francisco. A year ago I was traveling a bit and would frequent San Francisco, he wouldn't see me for a few days but I would always return. I wondered if he thought I would come back like I did before. When his parents found someone who I could train to work in my place, I think he finally understood I was actually leaving. Tomorrow is the first day of the new therapists training with me, and although I was anxious about having to train someone I hadn't said much about it to R. Today R, was crying; I couldn't figure out what was up, at first I thought he was just trying to waste time because he was bored with division, but something just felt different. So I wrote on his board "Why are you upset" I handed him the pen and he wrote "because linsy is coming". It hit me Lindsay the new ABA therapist was coming tomorrow and he understood she was going to be taking my place. I wrote "do you want her to come" he looked down; then I wrote "Why are you sad that Lindsay is coming?" He held the pen in his hand for a few seconds wrote the word "because" and looked up at me, then continued to write "Alice the Camel." ----to anyone else this would have made no sense; but to me "Alice the Camel" is a joke we have about a song. He plays the song and giggles, waits for me to smile at him, I will start singing, he then hugs me, smells my hair, and starts doing his work. R, in his own way was telling me that he was sad I was leaving, I started to tear up he looked up at me, climbed onto my lap, and hugged me so tight. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">On her wedding -he was so a little sad when the ceremony was going on without including him </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">He told me loudly to "tell Miss KS that he wants to be in the show"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Of course I did not - as the show was her wedding ceremony!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">He sat there looking sad </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Even though we made a fuss of him</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Until she came down the stairs and walked towards the audience. Then R rushed forward to take her picture.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">She immediately stopped and came to hug him. But he pushed her away so he could look at her and take pictures of her looking so beautiful </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Many of her family recognized him as she has been telling them stories about him and showing them pictures </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Really while its been a very hectic summer - its also been a great one. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">We are so blessed to have all these wonderful people in our lives </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Dear readers- here is what July was like for me </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">I have to be up at 6 for a conference call and yet I am so glad that I took the time to write down this long ramble </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Promise to come visit your blogs soon </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns=""><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;" xmlns="">Good night </span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br /></span>
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Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-1102864411121588672014-06-05T02:08:00.000-04:002014-06-05T02:08:01.731-04:00The Start of Summer in Seattle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dear
readers</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">May is
the first month in the days since the blog started that I have not written at
all <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Not just
me but all my autism friends – whether it be Julie, Four sea stars, Sturlungi,
Once upon, Lynn Hudoba <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and so many more <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">It’s as though
we have made a collective decision to do other things <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">We worry
about having said too much<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Sometimes
we have said it all and we have nothing more to say.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">And
sometimes life gets in the way <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">But
blogging for me is as much a connection with you, as it’s a connection to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">More, it’s
a connection to the self that I want to be. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">It’s a
moment to stop and think about my life and where I am going. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Where is
my energy, where is my focus?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">So I don’t
intend to stop writing anytime son <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Thank
you for reading and I promise to keep writing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Going out <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">We took
a day trip to Deception Pass and the Tulip festival in Skagit Valley. You guys it’s
so beautiful. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">While these past almost 2 years now – have been some of the most
stressful years of my life – a huge compensating factor has been the sheer
beauty of this part of America <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I will
say no more and just let the pictures do the talking <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Tulip%20Festival%20and%20Deception%20Pass/10271322_10152316475053467_5466021817576735956_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Tulip%20Festival%20and%20Deception%20Pass/10271322_10152316475053467_5466021817576735956_o.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Tulip%20Festival%20and%20Deception%20Pass/10003811_10152316471188467_6610278485451199672_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Tulip%20Festival%20and%20Deception%20Pass/10003811_10152316471188467_6610278485451199672_o.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Tulip%20Festival%20and%20Deception%20Pass/10258551_10152316479658467_1874494647000943259_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Tulip%20Festival%20and%20Deception%20Pass/10258551_10152316479658467_1874494647000943259_o.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Tulip%20Festival%20and%20Deception%20Pass/10258551_10152316479648467_4295413704967006718_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Tulip%20Festival%20and%20Deception%20Pass/10258551_10152316479648467_4295413704967006718_o.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/summer%20in%20seattle%202013/WP_20140413_0231_zps26294a5f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/summer%20in%20seattle%202013/WP_20140413_0231_zps26294a5f.jpg" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Reclaiming weekends <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Work is
again encroaching into my personal life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is like the weeds that take over your
life as soon as you stop weeding them out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I have
to do all the disciplined things again – turn my email off on the weekend –
45-50 hour intense work week is enough. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Some
days I am so bedraggled after having been in meetings for 9 hours straight – I am
just completely depleted and all I can do is just be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Still I
do the little things. I pause myself from getting out of bed instantly in the
mornings – on Saturdays and Sundays-</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> I bring in Nespressos for DH and me and we
all sit together in this little love nest pushing away the hurry of the day <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Winter%202014/WP_20140322_027_zps2df8bb22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Winter%202014/WP_20140322_027_zps2df8bb22.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Isn't the
difficult world so much easier to face when you ease into it so gently?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I read happy books like the Harry Potter
series, Merry Hall (Beverly Nichols)- (this book is in the 1940's and he is in
the closet - a fact that is so obvious when he writes about how repelled he is
by women's advances. But its apparently not obvious to these women) and find myself reverting to more gentler ways of being <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">We lounge in our hammocks</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">DH and I take long walks in the trails behind our house</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Whenever we can - I find time for myself and nature </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Getting organized <o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">DH and I
are finally getting into spring cleaning – </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I have taken away about a 1000 books
from R’s playroom that are the combination of not being loved nor being
appropriate <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">R’s progress <o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">In April
we get notes from his teachers <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>saying he
is not very social and that he will frequently go off topic completely – I am
very upset. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">DH –
ever practical - works out some strategies with the teacher and he is doing so
much better. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I am
often reinforced in my belief as to how unsuitable school is for a kid like R.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That he is either stuck “counting leaves” with
all special needs lumped into one. OR he has to work with the very social
special needs kids.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> Where is the child with classic autism and academic
potential to go?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">If we
could start over, there are three things I would do differently – start speech
therapy earlier, not send him to daycare and have a home based program for most
of the day. We always had a home-based program but it was all after school and
he was spending so much time and energy in school that there was not much left
over for the rest.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I go for
a meeting with his school teachers.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Fortuitously,
his teachers have had days with him just prior to the school meeting where the
other kids in the groups have not turned up. They have gotten to see a very
different R – regulated, interactive and joyful <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">As such
their impression of him is very different than it was before and they now think
that he needs to be paired up with peer-mentors – not other kids with special
needs – something we have been wanting to do anyway<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I have
been stressed about this meeting and have taken cookie brownies ( have you ever made these guys? So awesome) <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">His
center where he spends most of his time he is doing very well- lots of
challenges in Reading comprehension but doing very well in Math and Science<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Other kids </span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">DH and I always said that R was never interested in other kids. But there is a certain change in this that we are noticing </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><u>Play dates with other kids with Autism</u><b> </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">In R's social skills class there is another child whose parents we really like and so we decide to do a play date - This child is very sweet and they have the funniest interactions - kind of like a relay race. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">S will leave a bucket in the sand. Then he will move away.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">R will then play with the bucket</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">And so on </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">These funny little interactions are clearly enjoyable to both as the next two weeks they ask to play with each other again</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">He is suddenly into other kids as well - DH's engineering friends come for a trip to India and R is so enamored by "the girl". He follows her everywhere, her picture is now his screensaver and he tries to get me to mix some Sprite in her glass of water so she can have the little cocktail that is R's favorite thing </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><b> </b>Ditto our neighbors- on both sides of our house - we have found really accepting pleasant people who are completely unfazed by R walking into their garages to take a closer look at their cases of Coca Cola.R always takes pics of their kids as well.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Floortime and Autism <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">What
about Floortime? Well I would tell you how he was doing if there really was a
lick’s worth of Floortime I was doing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I am just
too tired from work and now in the 7<sup>th</sup> year of autism and the second
year of Crohn’s some of my energy has fizzled out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I just
want to be mom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">And
sometimes I just want to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Most
days though we have a fairly interactive routine- so very much a floortime lifestyle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Usually
when I come home and the rain has held off - R is waiting with his picnic bag.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">We take
cupcake for R and small Sprite can and a bottle of Talking Rain (club soda) for
me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">On evenings like this I get little gems from R.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">We were drinking our sodas <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">He said
“Sprite has 90 calories” and then he asked me “how many calories does Talking
rain have” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I am <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>so proud<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">We make
boats with a soap that he was carrying in the picnic basket. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">With a leaf and
twig as mast. We pretend things are other things and act our little scenes - a bottle cap will become a hot air balloon ( my idea ). But then the doll will fly away (r's idea) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> Even though his pretend play is primitive - it is very much present!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">A high school student who is doing a project on R comes by to interview us. She is very impressed with us( or atleast very polite :-) ). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">As we talk to her, I think how much more we know than before.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Example - I used to think the question was about <u>method </u>- <u>what</u> should we do Floortime or ABA or Sonrise. But I think just as important as the "<u>what</u>" question is the "<u>who</u>" question.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">If I had an autism haiku it would be </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Find the right people</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Let them spend the right amount of time </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Make sure your child is happy</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">We are all sick today. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">And yet I write this in my silent house when all the chores are done , the dishwasher and washing machine are set on their timers and my two sweets are tucked in bed with their cough drops and Vicks, all I feel is the blessedness of life when I stop rushing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The pleasure of sitting down with a cup of peppermint tea and talking to you dear reader.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">As though time was endless and I had all of eternity to watch each thought come to life on the screen.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> I think of what his teacher told me "<i> he is a happy little guy.. but the world is just going by too fast for him</i>"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">And I think, as much as we can, as long as we can we will slow things down.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<i>You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,</i><br />
<i>Time is short, the music won’t last</i></div>
</div>
Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-36640899387088120132014-04-05T12:56:00.003-04:002014-04-05T13:02:30.555-04:00The Start of Spring in Seattle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
When we first moved here, someone told me that the hardest month here was June."<br />
<br />
Surely summer should be here by now".<br />
<br />
DH and I though- find that we don't mind the rain at all.<br />
<br />
I think we were really sensible to buy the house that we are in - not too big nor fancy - just right..<br />
<br />
Lots of windows and light.<br />
<br />
Its somewhere we love coming back to. Our Knoxville house is large and comfortable too but in that house we were always looking to go out and be in the backyard.<br />
<br />
<b>Saturday</b><br />
<br />
A bit of a gloom hangs over this weekend as I need to go to New York tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Oh how I hate traveling!!!<br />
<br />
However- I am speaking on an "expert" panel and that is making me feel very.grown.up.<br />
<br />
Someone whom I once interviewed sends me a note saying she heard I was one of the "distinguished" members of the panel and this makes me walk on air<br />
<br />
R is weeping beasue he cannot find the cupcakes we baked yesterday - they are on the stove and are just covered with a napkin. Once Discovered - all is well<br />
<br />
R settles in with a cupcake and I settle in with my Espresso- my latest addiction .<br />
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<br />
Mother and son - We do love our pleasures<br />
<br />
DH has been grumbling about my Nespresso a lot - he is not cheap - but he hates getting into these relationship "traps" with companies.<br />
<br />
He has already looked for how to make a DIY coffee capsule but its a real flop so now he has given in<br />
<br />
We take R for his socials skills class which is in a bowling alley today- we are early ( we are "getting to be like white people now" I tell DH - as this is a joke among us - Indians are always 15 minutes late while white people are always on time)<br />
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<br />
<br />
We go to our date restaurant"<a href="http://theguilttriprestaurant.com/" target="_blank">The Guilt Trip</a>".<br />
<br />
Delicious Indian- American Fusion.<br />
<br />
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The owner comes out to greet us and tells us that the reason he calls it a guilt trip is because "<i> you should come here once in a month - not every week .. but when you are here - please don't think of calories and fat</i>" he says all his food is inspired by his mum.<br />
<br />
We meet his charming husband as well who works for the company that makes Wii and we chat and he suggests that we bring R to the Nintendo store sometime.<br />
<br />
A pleasant faced plump woman comes out - his mum- she is very traditional as I can see she is making a long string with alternating green peppers and limes - this is a traditional Indian recipe to ward off the evil eye.<br />
<br />
The food is sublime and we enjoy ourselves thoroughly -<br />
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<br />
We walk over to Macy's DH has been jonesing for a Harris tweed coat and we go and try his size out - 44 is ideal.<br />
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Then off to pick up R who has had a good session .<br />
We cook in the afternoon and watch TV which is our usual routine and then the evening routine of<br />
the sports club -<br />
OMG this boy has a great sense of direction and he just revels in going into all the nooks and crannies of this large 4 story building .<br />
The day is endless as I have to get things ready for next week since I am only back on Wednesday.<br />
<br />
<b>Sunday </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
I gird my loins to go and DH reminds me that I will be really glad I went<br />
<br />
We have started binge-watching Blacklist and we are halfway thru an episode when the taxi comes - evidence of the power of story is that DH and I actually speculate whether we should watch the next 20 minutes and be late to the airport or lot.<br />
<br />
Its a gorgeous sunny day and of course NYC is under a cold wave.<br />
<br />
R and DH come out to say goodbye and feel such a pang while taking the picture below, that DH tells me to go fast and not linger.<br />
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<br />
At this unceremonious send off - I have to smile<br />
<br />
By the time I reach the hotel in NYC - its freezing and 10 pm - the cabbie has taken me to the wrong hotel and insists on taking me to the right one gratis- he is of Indian origin and wants to look after me - he is so sweet that I give him an extra generous tip.<br />
<br />
I have not had dinner and Times Square looks bright and shining - so I decide to take a walk<br />
<br />
OMG Its FREEZING and I have to buy hat and gloves for the princely sum of 10 dollars - The shop owner also tells me that he is charging me half price as I am from India as he is.<br />
<br />
How nice people are!!<br />
<br />
I pose in front of an Applebee's in Times Square as DH and R are eating at our Redmond Applebees<br />
<br />
I work till 2 am in the night and sleep like the dead<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Monday </b><br />
<br />
The conference is very interesting to me but I want to not tell you anything about it as it will be horribly boring for you ( do I hear you sigh in relief?)<br />
<br />
My niece - whom I last met when I was a 1st grader works-( so about 32 year ago ) in NYC and she comes over - Its SO lovely to see here - we eat dinner and catch up on our family.<br />
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<br />
My dad's side of the family is full of eccentrics and give you a lot to talk about.<br />
<br />
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We walk and walk - oh how I love the Sidewalks of New york.-- Above I am in front of the main New York Library which is the scene for so many Law and Order episodes.<br />
<br />
Once again back in my hotel room and I have a load of work and its 2 am by the time I am able to sleep<br />
<br />
<b>Tuesday </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Is the panel - all the other panelists look so smart - there is Verizon, ESPN, Huffing ton Post, Merck Lab and ordinary me. <br />
<br />
The panel goes really well and I am super happy.<br />
<br />
The interviewer is French - I sit next to him at dinner.<br />
<br />
I think the French must feel such pressure to live up to the impossible standards to which the rest of the world hold them- we discuss the differences in French culture and American culture.<br />
<br />
He says one of the biggest differences about the French is that they appreciate "melancholy".<br />
<br />
<i>"The feeling of the end of Autumn in Paris when everything is dying".</i> He says that melancholy is a real experience while in other Western cultures there is a lot of pressure to be positive.<br />
<br />
This makes me pause - as I am exactly the sort of person who urges people to "<i>look on the bright side"</i><br />
<br />
I see his point- that there is no reason to want to live in just <i>one </i>part of the emotional spectrum - even if its the most joyous one.<br />
<br />
Remember the William Blake poem<br />
<br />
<i>Under every grief and pine,<br />Runs a joy with silken twine.<br />It is right it should be so,<br />We were made for joy and woe,<br />And when this we rightly know,<br />Through the world we safely go</i><br />
In India there is a similar concept regarding sorrow ( the word directly translated means "pain" but I am not using it as its nothing to do with the 50 shades of grey :-) It will commonly be said "<i>he can really not sing or act because he his voice has no sorrow"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
We talk and talk and - he describes his fiancee( Australian-Indian) "<i>who wants a pink diamond of all things</i>"<br />
I and a colleague get to accept an award on behalf of Microsoft for this <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z19vR1GldRI" target="_blank">ad campaign</a>.<br />
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<br />
<br />
And I have my own assertive moment. As me and a woman pose- a tall man comes and stands in front of us - completely blocking us - we both insist he move.<br />
<br />
I am super proud of myself for being assertive.<br />
<br />
<b>Wednesday </b><br />
<br />
Is a mad rush - Lots of meetings and calls- I spend 6 hours on the plane.<br />
<br />
DH and R have come to pick me up and I greet them with presents - chocolate for DH and Jelly beans for R.<br />
R is very cool and relaxed.<br />
<br />
Its LOVELY to be home - the house is so neat and clean - I am very pleasantly surprised -<br />
<br />
I want to cook dinner from scratch as I am sick of eating the bland food of Marriott.<br />
<br />
We cook and watch Blacklist and don't check email and feel the bliss of being home all around me<br />
<br />
<b>Thursday and Friday </b><br />
<br />
Are madly hectic days at work and home is very routine<br />
<br />
<b>Saturday</b><br />
<br />
DH drop R off at the library - there is a petition at the library that I go to sign - the library is to be closed for remodeling and there is a petition to stop that.<br />
<br />
This is something I love about Seattle - people are passionate about their books !!<br />
<br />
As I come out a young man( obviously on the A-team approaches me) he says "<i>My name is Steven .. what is yours</i>"<br />
He shoots questions at me and is very happy that I answer all of them without missing a beat.<br />
<br />
He also tells me that since I am Indian I should say Namaste to him - we say Namaste solemnly to each other and I bid him adieu- I love autistic people - I really do.<br />
<br />
There is such joy in interacting with them - they are so simple and so without an hidden agenda.<br />
<br />
We eat at a restaurant that I love - not only do they have fried spicy tofu that is DELICIOUS - the tables are the EXACT same table we have at the cabin<br />
<br />
Then we go to the mall and get DH"s Tweed jacket ( that he eventually ordered from JCP as they had original Harris tweed) and he looks like a prince.<br />
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<br />
DH says his shin hurts and " <i>do you think I am exercising too much"</i><br />
<br />
This is such a smug and pious thing to say - since he is very virtuous about all the weight he has lost and says sanctimonious things like "yo<i>u should eat sweets in moderation" or " just eat one piece of chocolate instead of 5"</i><br />
<br />
( knowing fully well that this is impossible for me. These sort of comments are why fat people loathe skinny people - as they share this info with the air of giving you great wisdom.)<br />
<br />
I tease him for the rest of the day saying things like "<i>do you think I am too good a person for this world "?...." do you think that I may have become too charming"..."do you think I just love you too much"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i> </i><i>(T</i>hese weak jokes are like the breath of air to our marriage - Does each marriage have its own language? Mine certainly does- I tell DH that if he were to leave me - a huge slice of me would be gone- for <i>that </i>K exists between us and us alone and belongs only in this marriage - nowhere else)<br />
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Back home we cook and have to go to out for dinner as this is R's weekly ritual. He is very particular that we do not fob him off with a cheap dinner ( McDonalds/Spazzo) and go to a semi fancy place.<br />
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DH and I are aching for something sweet and such is our motivation that even though its raining heavily - I run into the store and get Ritter Sport White Chocolate(me), Toblerone( DH) and candy corn ( R)<br />
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At home we have our iconic moments - Bliss. Perfection is a good cup of espresso with white chocolate - a good show on TV and no chores.<br />
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<b>Sunday</b><br />
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Is the first lazy day I have had in 2 weeks - I am tired at a molecular level - I wake up late -<br />
R has got into the candy corn but I do not care.<br />
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We drink espressos and chocolate for breakfast and when R has his therapist we hike at the park.<br />
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You know guys - think I am falling in love with these gorgeous trees -<br />
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Their majesty - look how much taller these trees are than me.<br />
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the queer quality of the emerald light - how on days of cloud and sun - you get these shades of green.<br />
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the almost fluorescent green that the moss on the trees has<br />
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A bit of the sun has come out and R insists I go outside and set up the hammock. I do so - he points at a tiny sliver of space next to him and indicates that I should accommodate my considerable bulk in it<br />
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I negotiate that we can go and lie down upstairs in our bedroom- we loll about about reading our books and snuggling.<br />
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The sun comes out - R lolls about in a beam of sunlight that turns his skin to gold.<br />
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I ask him if he know what a gift from god he is to us.<br />
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R does not know rhetorical questions yet and he answers "<i>Yes</i>"<br />
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Such was this week.<br />
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Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-91165644972282938282014-03-16T23:15:00.001-04:002014-03-16T23:15:13.841-04:00Days of my life: A week in March<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Here are the bits and pieces of a week in my life<br /><br /><b>Saturday </b><br /><br />Today it was raining so much.<br /><br />DH and I went to drop R at Social skills class -one of the things that I love about this class is that DH and I have 2 hours of “we-time”<br /><br />We go to Olive garden.<br /><br />Right next to us were a more successful version of me and R ( Indians: thinner wife, kid that ate everything ).<br /><br />DH was very upset that they have removed pork from the menu.<br />
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Anyone who thinks my husband is not an emotional man should see him when he has expected some pig based materials ( pork/ham/ribs) and then not given them . He grumpily ordered the Italian Sausage thingy and swore (<i>very </i>as-god-is-my-witness,Scarlett O Hara style) to never come to Olive garden again.<br /><br />At home R locked the bathroom door. One day I locked our bedroom door and R was VERY upset and since then he has been obsessed with locks.<br /><br />I threatened to not take him to Pro-club.I also asked him to face the wall for 10 minutes quietly - he is so funny and does this so seriously with his timer<br /><br />Then DH chopped meat and veggies and cooked for the week - basically our lunches and R's dinners<br /><br />I made<br /><br />1. Chicken Taco soup ( lunch for me )<br /><br />2. 3 stirfries/curries - to be eaten with roti for DH’s lunch<br /><br />3. Kale+ Spinach+ Pepper+ chicken mix that R has for dinner<br /><br />Then I took R to Pro club where he took pictures of elevators<br /><br />R bought a massive cookie at the club - its St Patrick’s day here so he found a cookie in the shape of a shamrock – then he and I went and played with a basketball - it’s such a miracle that R can actually catch and throw a ball – for the longest time he just could not .<br /><br />We played catch for a long time – when I came home I told him – that playing ball with him was the best part of my day – I asked him what the best part of his day was – he looked from his liquid eyes and said “ the best part was the Shamrock cookie"<br /><br />We see a movie "Stuck in Love" </div>
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I really like Greg Kinnear.</div>
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I am listening to "Enjoy every Sandwich” I just loved it.</div>
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Just finished "Death of a Perfect Wife" Hamish Macbeth series - oh how I love this series!!<br /><br />Audio books are a great joy of my life<br /><br /><b>Sunday </b><br /><br />I woke up to see two large brown liquid eyes staring at me.<br /><br />He got my Surface and my blue robe for me. R loves mornings where we all snuggle in bed with all our different devices and he wants to activate this as soon as possible<br /><br />I skyped with my Mummy and my sister and baba -<br /><br />R said his tummy was hurting. Crohn’s breaks my heart. My sweet child's insides are bleeding.<br /><br />Today was IKEA day: I have been wanting to buy a bed for R - he has been sleeping on just the frame and the box forever. I really wanted to buy the ones with the storage thing underneath – DH thinks its too much storage(but he does not know that there is no such thing)<br /><br />IKEA was exhausting. R wanted to go to Smalland ( IKEA play area).</div>
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Since his Crohn’s is back slightly, I am nervous to let him go somewhere where he will have to explain to someone about a bathroom and that he needs it urgently. But he was fine.<br /><br />We browsed and bought steel espresso cups - the bed and some other odds and ends and before you know it was almost 500 dollars.<br /><br />I consoled DH that at least the meal was free ( IKEA promotion).</div>
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But he was quite inconsolable - esp since the couple in front of us had not bought enough to get their meal for free so ran back to get some more items which means we had to stand for a long time.(and I had to listen to DH wonder in whispers as to why people are so stupid- This is a question he asks me many times a day.)<br /><br />We came back and the sun was shockingly out so I took R to the park - it was so beautiful .</div>
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Finally the air is a balmy 50 degrees.<br /><br />R of course wanted to sit in the most crowded section of the park - while I wanted to go to go to the other side - I asked him WHY he wanted to sit there and he said "<i>because there are rooms of people"</i><br /><br />We did jumble words - he said "<i>No scrabble" </i>I countered with "<i>no sprite</i>" At this fearsome threat he agreed to play.</div>
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Back home, I washed all the glass dishes I had got ( this is my new fad - I want to get rid of all the crappy plastic dishes ) </div>
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DH was piously putting together the bed - R had refused to help . </div>
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So as a punishment -DH made him sit on a chair - minus all electronics( oh the Humanity!!!) and watch the boring activity of DH putting together the bed . R wept and wallowed in self pity .</div>
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He mewled that I should come to him so he could "<i>smell her hair"</i> . </div>
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So R and I put together a lamp- a very nice lamp and thank goodness I had not bought the awful lamp that he recommended( which when I asked him why - it was "<i>because it was in baby Wordsworth"</i></div>
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The bed was put together and it looks GREAT I think - R was SUPER excited- he kept running out of the bath tub to monitor DH's progress.</div>
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Then I read poems to R while he went to sleep </div>
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He looked so sweet - that I take a photo</div>
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R put a hand in front of his face with all the ennui of a star to the fawning paparazzi and said "no photos"</div>
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<b>Monday </b><br /><br /> So I never talk about my office days as they will be very boring for you to read </div>
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The week-days - our evenings are mostly - a combination of Park+ TV +Dinner </div>
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So to the park we went - I find a lot of really close conversations happen when you just happen to chat with the person you meet at the swing. </div>
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I call this the one-swing-stand</div>
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Today I meet an Indian woman. She is :</div>
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<br />1. Very sweet<br />2. She is lonely - I have noticed people are very ashamed to admit that they are lonely but when they do they are very relieved. Its like a guilty secret</div>
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<br />3. R was quite rude as he wants to be alone with me and said "bye bye " several times to the sweet child who is quite enamored by him </div>
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later on we went to the far side of the park where he told me "<i>no kisses" </i>and that he was mad at me. This child HATES me talking to someone else. To make things worse I also played jumble words which he calls scrabble. I am on his hit list today for sure </div>
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<b>Tuesday </b></div>
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At night we were reading our books - he picked out his giant book of compiled kiddie books that he calls "Harper Collins" book - DH came by for hugs and kisses and asked R what his fave story was -</div>
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R said "Leo the late bloomer".</div>
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DH asked him when he plans to bloom?</div>
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But we both exchanged a smile at this child who has taught us to enjoy the scenic route.</div>
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<b>Wednesday</b><br /><br /><br />One more sunny day - So lovely - R and I go again for our picnic and jumble words in the park. </div>
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R has a strict procedure as it relates to the park - within which he will allow me to do a little play.</div>
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I scramble foam letter words and make him unscramble them. </div>
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Now since he will only take one copy of the alphabet, the words cannot be too long as there are not any letters with two copies ( Eg EIGHT is one of the longest words ) I scrambled OGFL and instead of making GOLF as I thought he would, he made FLOG. Isn't that a weird word for children today to use?<br /><br />R is working really hard and really long hours.I think he must work 8-9 hours every day. I have to say that progress is slow and language comprehension remains the biggest barrier.</div>
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Its not that he is not bright or does not have good memory ( he just rattled off our 16 letter alphanumeric wi- fi code that I have maybe said 3-4 times over the past 1.5 years ) </div>
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He wrote it down here </div>
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<br /><br />Or that he cannot think or problem solve (he can when he is focused).<br /><br />Its just that his intelligence is not accessible in many ways due to language barrier.<br /></div>
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Not that intelligence is all that matters<br /><br />One of my friends who has a son with Downs told me she was always annoyed by the "angels" stereotype.<br /><br />I never understood it- but now the "intelligence" stereotype with Autism gives me the creeps. As though our children have to compensate in some manner for their disability.<br /><br />Why can’t they just <u>be</u>? </div>
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Life is not fair- when it takes something from you - it does not always give you something back in return - why pretend it does? </div>
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All that matters is how much we can make of it.<br /><br />With all his problems, with that profound emotional immaturity, R is quite extraordinary with his immense capacity for love. </div>
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Today I saw him sitting in my closet surrounded by my clothes, burying his face in a scarf of mine. I feel so moved by this little child's tremendous affection</div>
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<br /><br />At the end of the day, if this is my lot - I will be grateful for it.<br /><br /><br /><b>FRIDAY</b><br /></div>
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I have 4 deadlines at work - all in the morning.</div>
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I literally do not know how to do so many things all at once. at the same time if someone had told me a year ago that I would be able to be "On" all the time - I would be amazed.</div>
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The pace at Microsoft is like no other place I have worked at. I find new folks weeping at the pace and wondering if they will be able to make-it.</div>
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<br />We go to the hospital - his numbers are still not great - his extra med just started last week but I want to just cry - why does all this treatment not help him manage his condition fully - why is he so full of auto-immune dysfunction?</div>
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<br />Then there is this relentless fatigue - even when I am sleeping 7.5 hours ( a lot for me ) I am just so tired.<br /><br />As we drove back from the hospital the clouds were gone and the moon was out on the lake. - a truly beautiful moment.<br />Though it was 9 pm by the time we are back - R still wanted to "<i>have an evening</i>"<br /></div>
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So we drank decaff nespresso with some chocolate while R ate some of his dinner while we are "w<i>atching TV </i>" and he is "<i>relaxing on the couch</i>"<br /></div>
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R is very particular about his iconic moments and making sure he gets them<br />( there is a lot to learn from this child )<br /></div>
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So I in turn had my iconic moments - some lovely things to balance out some irritations. </div>
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So I :<br />1.clean the kitchens and put in laundry ( on delay start) while listening to a mystery on my phone<br />2. warm a lavender wheat bag for my back<br />3. write my diary while drinking peppermint tea<br /><br /><br /><b>Saturday </b><br /><br />A relentless day of chores - but still pretty good<br /><ol>
<li>Laundry - 1 load</li>
<li>Cooking - Soup, Kadhi, R dinners, </li>
<li>Dishwasher - load- unload - 2 times </li>
<li>Costco - bought allergy free cleaning products for our cleaning lady and detergent. Also loads of fruit and veggies </li>
<li>Take R to park </li>
<li>Walk </li>
<li>Clean Kitchen </li>
<li>Put things away </li>
<li>Soak rice and lentils to make low allergy pancakes for R ( called Dosa) </li>
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I have the fitbit - I love it - everyday this week other than yesterday ( hospital day ) I have done more than 10,000 steps.</div>
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<br />I had no idea just how sedentary I had become</div>
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<br />Its very hard to do super strict diet so I am just trying to eat healthy - mostly veggies and walk 10k steps everyday</div>
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<b>Sunday </b></div>
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Is a lovely day as we have finished most of the chores yesterday.</div>
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I drink Nespresso and skype with my parents. We watch Elementary and then we go to Spazzo's - for lunch.</div>
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We go to the gym - DH exercises while R and I take pictures of the elevator - today we get stuck in the elevator. </div>
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R is very upset. He mewls and climbs into my lap for comfort. here is a picture of us - me trying to be calm and him in a panic.</div>
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I am not upset at all - I secretly hope that this will reduce his obsession with elevators. </div>
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The Gym folks feel very guilty that we were trapped and give R a $25 gift card that he can use to buy their overpriced cookies.</div>
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I take a long walk while DH makes turkey kebabs for dinner tomorrow and coq-au- vin for his lunch.</div>
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When I come back - R is asleep on the couch - the rain is softly falling and the house is full of the fragrance of the savory treats that DH has been making.</div>
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I sit down to write my diary and I think that life is starting to feel good again. </div>
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I still dream of Tennessee and I imagine myself back in the top- room in our cabin in the smoky mountains - in the room of happiness- surrounded by the sugar maple trees.</div>
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But I am also thinking of pleasure of these majestic Douglas firs, the soft rainfall, the grey-green lakes, the deep emerald green all around us.</div>
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And I am thinking that there is joy to be had anywhere. </div>
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That you can carry your happiness within you.</div>
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For wherever you go.. there you are.</div>
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Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-64914472920637101982014-03-02T20:02:00.002-05:002014-03-02T20:02:33.540-05:00Bringing up Baby<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">When R was a little, he had a onesie with a sign “<i>If only they would stay little”.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">This is something that most mothers say.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Little was I to know how much he would like staying little and, if I am to be honest, how much we would enjoy this childhood unfolding in slow motion<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">At 9, he has still retain such sweet innocent charm – that people often mistake him for a much younger child<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">My sister will ask him to “<i>fulfill all his baby jobs and give her flying kisses”</i>, a nurse will giggle indulgently when she sees that R cannot blow his nose, someone will bump into him at the gym and instead of saying “<i>Excuse me</i>” they will give him a hug instead. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">People coo at him, instead of talk to him. He gets more spontaneous hugs and kisses than any 9 year old I know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In fact , DH is probably the only one, in all of R's world that pushes him to act his age.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Many articles that adult auties write about things they wish we knew about them says how much they hated being “infantilized”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But R LOVES being baby - in his self-concept- he sees himself as a small child. And he likes it that way</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The other day he told me that he was a toddler.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Most neurotypicals have the peer pressure/natural incentive to start become more independent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I remember my niece was barely talking and all she wanted to do was do things by herself, when she stopped wanting to be in our laps.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But it’s time to gently nudge him along on this journey.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">To nudge myself along as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">For its not just that I enjoy my sweet child so very much, it’s also that he was so ill for so long.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">It’s made me want to be an armor around him – so defenseless and fragile he seems to me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But that crisis has become part of our normal and we are no longer in that day-to -day mindset of urgency</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Its time for this baby, this baby-mama to grow up</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>This post was written for <a href="http://www.hopefulparents.org/" target="_blank">Hopeful Parents.</a></i></span></div>
</div>
Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-49696572747753965192014-02-18T01:55:00.002-05:002018-01-24T16:37:22.143-05:00A Reboot in 2014 <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b>Feeling refreshed </b><br />
<br />
Being away for 4 weeks was REALLY refreshing.<br />
<br />
I made it a point to not check email or do anything work related ( probably one of the first vacations when I have done this)<br />
<br />
Its not that India was necessarily relaxing ( traveling with R rarely is + we spend almost 8 days in transit). But simply occupying your mind a 100% with something else is refreshing.<br />
<br />
When I am <i>in </i>my regular life, i forget that work is a <i>part </i>of my life- not my whole life. On the plane back, I look at R lolling on his seat and I swear that I am going to try and remember this simple cliche that I have lost sight of.<br />
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<b>Getting back into the routine</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
DH and I discussed how much of a routine our regular life is in when we are in Seattle. It takes us a long time to get over jet lag ( almost 10 days) but the routine is a relief.<br />
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Plus its nice to have our village again. Without his therapists, we are the only friends for R and it is quite exhausting ( especially in a time where we want to go around, shop and meet all our friends)<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Relearning old lessons</b><br />
<br />
I find myself finally able to get into all my old habits and routnes-<br />
<br />
<br />
<ol style="text-align: left;">
<li>My flylady routine of cleaning the kitchen in 15 minutes </li>
<li>Listening to mystery stories on my phone while I do household chores ( I am re-listening to the Hamish McBeth series - a series about an unambitious police officer and its so different than the people I am around all day that its a lovely bit of escapism</li>
<li>Looking for little pleasures in the day and connecting with DH and myself. DH and I are back to our date lunches on Saturday and taking walks on the weekend when his therapist is around </li>
<li>Have a day of no-work every week - we try to finish laundry on Friday and cooking on Saturday - so Sunday can be devoted to family time </li>
<li>Getting on a low carb diet and starting to walk( just 2 miles everyday but its a start) </li>
</ol>
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<b>Still sick </b><br />
<br />
Had a depressing call with R’s doctors – basically his labs were quite bad. He has inflammation still<br />
<br />
If we are lucky – he may have simply picked up an infection while traveling and if we are not lucky – this means that the Remicade( magical medicine) has stopped working quite effectively.<br />
<br />
I dont hold out much hope.I know what the answer will be even without the tests.<br />
<br />
Each time in the past that DH and I have looked at two possibilities its always the more worse one that R has - ( is he deaf or does he have autism, is it motivational or is it apraxia, is it a bug or is it crohns? So many doctors offices we have sat in and DH and I hear over and over, that its always the harder road for this most precious innocent child!)<br />
<br />
I know his tests will be a pain to do and when the results are back - there will be no easy fix of antibiotics<br />
( Indeed this turns out to be true -and the following days show that he has no parasites and that his body is starting to develop antibodies to the magic medicine- which happens in 1 out of 10 cases)<br />
<br />
This makes me want to cry - why does our sweet child have so much difficulty in life?<br />
<br />
I think you all know i work for Microsoft in Advertising<br />
<br />
For the Superbowl - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaOvHKG0Tio" target="_blank">Microsoft made an ad a</a>bout how folks with ALS are using technology to communicate.<br />
<br />
On the day that Superbowl airs, the facebook page of Microsoft is simply taken over by the ALS folks asking about the technology that Steve Gleason used in the ad. ( BTW Microsoft has responded to each facebook comment)<br />
<br />
I read their stories with my office door shut, tears rolling down my cheeks.<br />
<br />
People describing how "<i>ALS is taking something from me every day</i>" , or this request "<i> can you send me this software .. I got diagnosed with ALS recently and when the time comes that I can no longer speak, I want to use this eye tracking software to communicate"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Truly there is no end to the difficulties that life can bring.<br />
<br />
But we must "rise to life's challenges" like the Duchess said in Downton abbey today.<br />
<br />
One of my uncles is a very religious and erudite person - meditates and prays everyday. I asked him what explanation does religion have for the suffering of our children.<br />
<br />
He assures me that there is no explanation - that after all his study he has found that the answer is simple - make the most of whatever you have<br />
<br />
As I try to reconcile with the new challenges in my life, his simple words uttered from a sunny Dehradun terrace come to me often.<br />
<br />
That is my resolve for this year - to make the most of life.<br />
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That, and to be brave.</div>
Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-60892325196737502092014-02-01T15:30:00.001-05:002014-02-02T19:59:12.591-05:0010 things about Small Town India <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My Western friends often ask me what India is like.<br />
<br />
The bits of India that the west gets to see are not quite <em>all</em> the bits ( I suppose you could say this of the States as well- for when I describe the small towns where DH and I have lived - its just impossibly different than the New York, LA etc that the east sees in "Friends")<br />
<br />
India is impossible to describe as its a land of contradictions - so let me just give you a flavor.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">My
parents have retired and live in the small town that my mother was born in. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">My mother grew up in a
100 year old house where 2 brothers lived. One brother had 11 children ( one of
whom is my mother) and the other brother had 1. </span><br />
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">This
house had walls so thick ( a feet at least ). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Each summer vacation for 2 months
, we would make a trek to Purulia and my mother would be a girl again – while
my father mostly would stay in station ( he is a doctor and was in the Army ) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I
was a studious child who loved school and long summer vacations were a huge
burden on me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Besides my parents’ generation was not obsessed about not letting
the kids be bored. I think of all the things we come armed for with R ( his
iPADS, books, internet , Wii ) and its so different from when I was a child.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">My
mother says her parents were even less concerned about the kids not getting
bored ( with 11 you can imagine ). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Their toys were usually discarded household
objects - a particularly memorable one was a discarded tire – that my
uncle ( now a retired anaesthologist) would chase with a stick.</span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">As usual, I digress.<br />
<br />
This is all to say that I have a long relationship with Purulia <br />
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Progress has made its inexorable marks too and there are cars on the roads along with the traditional cycles. </span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Every house has a mobile phone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">But there is still the
very small town feeling because the people are still small town <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">1. Bad
Spelling and Creative Marketing <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Any of
you who have seen the “English Whirled Wide” will be familiar with the spelling
liberties that the rest of the world takes with the English language. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Words are
spelled phonetically – that too according to the way it sounds in Indian and it leads to some </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">very creative marketing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> It is the product of a simple and creative mind and many shops assert simply “you like” See "You like tailor shop" below</span></span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/WP_20140108_007_zps4a5e5d77.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/WP_20140108_007_zps4a5e5d77.jpg" /></a></div>
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Actors endorsements are used whether or not they agree :-). You see Hrithik Roshan ( famous Bollywood star endorsing the salon below). Its probably 1000% sure that he has never heard of this parlour </div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/WP_20140108_008_zpsebf7b3d6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/WP_20140108_008_zpsebf7b3d6.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span> </div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">2. The
evil eye <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> There
is great belief in the evil eye – ie someone can cause you ill simply by
looking at you with bad thoughts or simply with envy. There are many practices
to take off the evil eye ( called Nazar Utaarna ) and man recipes based on the
part of the India you are from.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Cause
and effect relationships are frequently inferred. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Suppose you visit someone’s
house and they say something nice to you – and you fall ill soon after – it
will be assumed that put the envious eye on you. Even in highly educated
families people these beliefs are prevalent <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><b>3. The
trains </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Trains
may have become obsolete in much of the West but in India they are still the way in
which most of the people travel.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">R loves the overnight train travels. He gets on the "Second Floor" and instantly transfixed.</span><br />
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/India/KAJOLI-WIN_20131230_084708_zpsa6a1860f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/India/KAJOLI-WIN_20131230_084708_zpsa6a1860f.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The railway stations are teeming centers
of activity- </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Here is R and my aunt trying to attract this goat <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/temporary_zpsc84a2933.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/temporary_zpsc84a2933.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The
journey in trains is an adventure in itself - there is always amazing food that people bring in these carts.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">None of the vendors wear gloves. The food is delicious and you never get sick from it. </span><br />
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/temporary_zps7d3fe27d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/temporary_zps7d3fe27d.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Lemon tea is an addiction for me and my dad and we drink several cups in our small journeys between Kolkata and Purulia .</span><br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Also you make friends -with co-passengers. Its perfectly okay and expected that you will chat and ask each other personal questions</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Most of my Western friends have "horror stories" of a person they sat next to in a plan who would not stop talking. I see their point - oh the people I have found on Indian trains!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Such missed opportunities from this approach of protecting your time instead of exploring what is around us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"> For instance this guy I meet </span><br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">1. Has 4 smartphones - he compartmentalizes his life this way. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">2. Has 10 year old twins who are taking part in the "Dance Dance competition" </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">3. His twins don't even look like sisters let alone twins as they are as far apart as chalk and cheese</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">4 He is hiding the fact that he has lost his iPhone from his wife as he will never hear the end of it.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><strong>Gossip<o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">OMG I cannot tell you what a huge part of life this is. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Usually the maids are the source of "what is happening". Sadly my mum's daily is a discreet and reserved lady. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">While this makes her a bit boring - my mum does appreciate that gossip from our house does not get carried everywhere </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">But my mom will frequently be interrupted in cooking to come outside to chat. - here she is called out by her neighbor</span><br />
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<strong>Charity</strong><br />
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In addition to the charity organizations, small town people look out for the poor in their own way.<br />
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The beggar community of Purulia comes on each day to a neighborhood. <br />
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On that day, they stop at each house and people donate things like rice, lentils, vegetables and clothes<br />
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My parents are great animal lovers and animals come daily to be fed as well.<br />
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R waits eagerly to watch the cows<br />
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Like small town America, small town India too centers around religion. But while Hinduism is benign and accepting- the dieties can be fierce.<br />
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The other day I went to the Ma Kali Temple -I wore the red border sari of traditional Bengali women with a red Bindi.<br />
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I love this goddess - she is a warrior deity - created to fight demons - wears a necklace of severed heads of demons. Her other incarnation - Durga - rides a tiger<br />
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They both have 8 arms <br /><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I looked at her and I felt strength and courage flow into me.</span><div>
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I have felt so buffeted by life this past year - I want strength and resilience more than anything <br /><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I pray for a long time for strength - for Crohns to release its grip on this most precious child<br />
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<strong>Warnings</strong> </div>
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Well I suppose they do this in the West too - when someone leaves the house - we always says things like "be careful" or "drive safely".<br />
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But in the East the warnings are far more dramatic </div>
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A typical thing my mom would say is "<em>be careful ... your scarf is flowing .. it will get trapped in the wheels of the rickshaw.. you will fall down and a speeding car will come and crush you</em>". </div>
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It is very charming and I look forward to these imaginative vignettes each time I leave the house.</div>
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Although I am 39 years old, at my parents house I am still a baby and my parents often say things like "<em>you wont be able to do this</em>"(this can be anything from turning off the switch to going by myself a short distance- "<em>you might get kidnapped.. because there is an alcohol store on the way</em>) .</div>
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I also become childish - annoyed when my mom does not make my favorite things to eat and sulk.</div>
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<strong>Bargaining</strong> </div>
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This one - I think you guys do know - you bargain bargain bargain for everything.</div>
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Here is my mom bargaining with a rickshaw- puller. This is a serious sport and no matter what items I buy at what price - when I return home and show my great deals -</div>
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my mom and MIL make a point of telling me that I was "<em>robbed blind"</em></div>
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<strong>Wintertime Sunbathing</strong> </div>
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Ahhh this is one of the true pleasures of winters in India - most houses have flat roves ( since there is no snow you do not need sloping roves) .</div>
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On these flat terraces - beds and mats will be laid out - so that you can have an afternoon siesta in the sun.<br />
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R LOVED these</div>
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<strong>A story everywhere</strong> </div>
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In these small towns - everyone knows everyone and there is a story everywhere.<br />
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This cobbler used to sit for years under a large Banyan tree which was cut down to make way for a motorbike showroom.</div>
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The cobbler undeterred sits there still - no doubt the showroom owners want him to move but he will not. </div>
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All the locals silently support him and he makes his living under the hot sun - proud and strong. </div>
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Oftentimes, I see his wife come and sit and give him company in the afternoons- true love in those without youth or money.</div>
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My dear friends - I have been so lax in blogging - this half written post has been sitting in my draft for ages, and so lax in reading blogs. </div>
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I am finishing this post from rainy Seattle - finally finding the time as DH has taken R off to social skills class and I am all alone.</div>
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R has had relapse of Crohns, finally under control now and getting back to work has been hectic as well </div>
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Promise to come see u soon</div>
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Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-45693883926232921982014-01-02T12:25:00.001-05:002014-01-05T00:03:28.644-05:00Autism around the world <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span xmlns=""></span><span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">Dear Readers</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">A very happy new year to you. I am writing this post from a small town called Purulia in India. We are at my parents' for the holidays </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">Where I am sitting – I can hear the loud gossip of a gaggle of ladies who are surrounding the tap right outside my parents house (as befits their premier status in the community).The ladies are collecting the government water which comes for an hour each evening and is "soft water"- unlike the hard water that is in the wells of each house .</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">The steady stream of stray animals that are semi-adopted by my mum and dad who come at their appointed time for food and conversation, has finally abated.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">It's all so different from my rainy home in the suburbs of Seattle</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">In Purulia, I swap my Levis , for Salwar Kameez and a big red bindi and turn native for 4 weeks. </span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">Since ( I think) I am both of the East and the west, I thought I would write some of my observations on autism in the east Vs Autism in the West. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">Some similarities and some differences. (Of course these are my personal observations and not scientific statements so take it with a big pinch of salt)</span></span><span xmlns=""> </span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Awareness is great but you can have acceptance without awareness</strong></span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">R's grandparents don't understand autism per se, but they understand and accept R just the way he is. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">He is a favorite owing to his quiet charming ways and his family tries to figure out what pleases this eccentric little person- handing him the calendar with dates when they see his fascination with numbers, giving over the main TV for his Wii and making sure that the Wi FI is working.</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;"></span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">I do have the odd aunt who chastises me for not making sure R eats many varieties of foods, but for the most part they marvel at the way he smells everything and gasp with wonder when he plays a classical piece on the little piano on his iPAd. In every way they make him feel beloved and accepted </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;"><strong>There are pioneers everywhere </strong></span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">In the city where my MIL lives- Dehradun – we go to see Nav Prerna. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">The first autistic group home in India says the founder. We meet the kids who are attending a music class. Its a remarkable place. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">Some kids come for daily therapy and some kids stay there.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;"> Many of the children are severely autistic but Saswati Singh( the founder and herself the mother of an autistic child ) has created a very well structured environment. She believes strongly in GF CF diet, no electronics and mostly organic and natural medicine. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">The kids are thriving there.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Pioneer mums and dads too </strong></span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">Like in the West, Eastern parents also make great sacrifices for the kids. At the center, we met some parents whose kids just come for the day. One mother that DH and I chatted with for a long time has a 4 year old child at the center. To come to the center – she is living in a rented apartment and away from her husband. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">I asked her whether her parents or in-laws mind this unorthodox arrangement to which she says " i don't bother about anyone when it comes to my kids."</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">There are many parents here too – just like the west – who are desperate for a cure not progress- ie they will mortgage the house for HBOT but not want to pay for therapy. In fact probably more so than in the west.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;"><strong>In the East, Academics first </strong></span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">Indian parents are obsessed with academics( if any of you have kids that have Indian kids in the class – you will see that this is one Indian stereotype that is very true) - and it's the same with their kids with autism. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">As opposed to Seattle, where we meet many children who have higher functioning autism, each child with autism that we meet here is very obviously autistic.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">I think parents do not seek a diagnosis for kids with mild autism. Also kids with no academic problems would not be seen as having any issues.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">The social set up with the options still of joint families and arranged marriages is such that a child with Asperger's or HFA would have a ready-made structure to compensate for their social challenges.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">I think both the East and the West have a lot in common when it comes to disability. They also have a lot to learn from each other.</span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">The West has gifts of the scientific approach to progress for autistic children –while the East has the gift of acceptance. </span></span><br />
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<span xmlns=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 12pt;">In our home – we try to combine both </span></span></div>
Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-62593020959651124672013-12-02T16:52:00.002-05:002013-12-02T18:23:13.125-05:006 Autism things I don’t do no more<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><i><span style="color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;">Life is the ultimate transformative experience. Over time you find yourself caring about different things .I am on </span><span style="color: #3b5998;"><span style="cursor: pointer; line-height: 18px;"><a href="http://www.hopefulparents.org/2013/12/6-autism-things-i-dont-do-no-more.html" target="_blank">Hopeful Parents</a></span></span><span style="color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;"><a href="http://www.hopefulparents.org/2013/12/6-autism-things-i-dont-do-no-more.html" target="_blank"> </a>today talking about 6 autism things, I dont do anymore. If you hate to click on links- the full post is below</span></i></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">6 years ago when R was first diagnosed, DH and I had endless passion about so many Autism things. I focused so much on a to-do list. If I could have looked ahead I think I would have focused also on a <u>not</u>-to- do list.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Here are 6 things that I used to do a lot and I don't anymore.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">First, the Debates of Autism:</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I just don’t have the same energy around Autism controversy like I used to. Case in point- when Susan White of Autism speaks did her dramatic speech (or was it PR release?) and Facebook caught fire –I was about to write a POV. But then.... my Surface keyboard was lying on the chair next to the bed. And.... I was too lazy to get out of bed. So I contended myself with just tapping on “like” on someone whose POV approximated mine. Please don’t be offended if you are passionate about the debates. The debates and the issues are important. Of course they are. But I no longer feel compelled to add my voice.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><u>Second, </u><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> </span><span style="text-decoration: underline;">forcing you to be optimistic.</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I am super optimistic and work hard to be that way. But I realize that that is not everybody’s way. If venting helps you- vent away. If happiness feels irrelevant – so be it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><u>Third, t</u></span><u style="text-indent: -0.25in;">hinking people with autism have the blueprint on my child</u><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">: </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Autistic adults provide a unique perspective – make us think of things that we would not have thought of. But I no longer think that an autistic adult knows more about my son than I do. Would an Indian stranger know more about me than my black BFF?I don’t think so!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><u>Fourth,n</u></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><u>o more FOMO</u></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">: </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">The other day, I had a chance to listen to Temple Grandin. Those of you who follow my blog know that I am a huge fan. But as I heard her speak – I felt like I had heard the every bit of the speech before. It’s like this with many trainings and books. It was useful in the early years. Not just for learning, but also my need to do <u>something</u>. I had a massive version of FOMO – fear of missing out. I felt that without doing a training etc. we would be missing out something crucial for R. But now mostly we seek less, do more.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times;"><u>Sixth, thinking I have the answers or can find them if I look hard enough :</u></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> We have read so much, talked to so many specialists, mete so many parents and autistic people. Autism is still a mystery. The one thing I know, is that I don’t know. Now when newly diagnosed parents ask about things like DAN – I just say – “use good sense"</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><u>Finally, </u></span><u style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Autism and Identity:</u><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> I think I am going to wait to see how R feels about his Autism without assuming that he will</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">a. Be ashamed of it and want to hide it<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">b. Think it’s a part of his identity or even be all about autism pride.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">My hunch is that he will be matter-of-fact. Since DH and I are very matter-of-fact. I showed him my blog the other day and asked him if he felt okay about me writing about our family and he said he said was totally okay! The question, whether he is who he is, <u>because</u> of his autism or <u>in spite</u> of it is irrelevant</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">There are things I continue to care about and feel passionately towards regarding autism, even after all these years and I will tell you about those in another post some day.</span></div>
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Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-31733759646634349612013-11-18T02:29:00.002-05:002018-01-24T16:32:26.099-05:00Back in the Smoky Mountains and other things <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We need to go
back for a visit to list our home with a new broker as its on the market now
for a year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
market is slow and our realtor was not very good<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.555556297302246px;">DH and I in some ways still think of the smoky mountains as home.</span><span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> It’s the longest time – a decade – that either
of us has ever spend in a place <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
Smoky Mountains dressed up in all their autumn finery and dear reader as I
write these words, I ache for my cabin in the woods.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Listing
our house with a new broker <o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">R
refuses to go inside.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Later as he looks at the picture of what used
to be our bedroom – he says “<i>no furniture”
“the house is empty</i>” and that these pictures make him <i>sad</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Meeting
old friends <o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">One
of the best parts of Knoxville was meeting our old friends. I tell them that
one day I will definitely come back and work again in my beloved past company
Bush’s Beans.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Another
joy was meeting R’s Therapists.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> These women have known R since he was 2 years
old and now he has turned 9.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">OMG
he is so happy to see them and they are so happy to see him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He
is always weird and distant and hides behind DH and me for the first 10- 15
minutes but then he is all kisses and hugs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">They
started out as therapists but now they feel like family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Magical
Miss Gypsi takes R out for his first haircut in a salon ever.</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p><br />
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Miss Sadie and Kristen take him out at the
ubiquitous McDonalds. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiizD71V_NLC1LKiBrdf2VbCnA4mYsVtvd2YAmZZeb9-x_fmjdMvkd-aOg_y8bqMhTALpwNmTiw-_JWZRRjGJe6LqjHYyyD14yZGijq8zPw4dWwutFQccERCp-fXw453kv2UHr8AGhuuvD9/s1600/WP_20131103_073+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiizD71V_NLC1LKiBrdf2VbCnA4mYsVtvd2YAmZZeb9-x_fmjdMvkd-aOg_y8bqMhTALpwNmTiw-_JWZRRjGJe6LqjHYyyD14yZGijq8zPw4dWwutFQccERCp-fXw453kv2UHr8AGhuuvD9/s320/WP_20131103_073+(1).jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">They
have R’s heart and he has theirs and it just feels so warm and comfortable
being back with these women that love him <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span><u><span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
Cabin</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Finally
I come to the cabin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
simply cannot tell you how magical it is to spend the weekend there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Its
currently on a rental program and so its perfectly clean and well stocked. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">On the first day I wake up today so sleepy as I had not
slept well the whole of the week before this </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">While the room is full of sunlight spilling
everywhere, I would not have woken up either unless R had not come to snuggle
which now that he is 65 pounds is quite violent.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">I wake up in the room of happiness - which is what I call the room
at the top of this cabin.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">This is the smallest
bedroom in this house and did not have a shower( just a bath tub) so the
realtor called it the "spare room". </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">But as soon as I saw it with its giant windows and slanting multiple rooves - I knew that we would never sleep anywhere else . </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">DH eventually installed a shower in this bathroom and we moved in there permanently.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">We take endless walks in the woods. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">The woods are full of this special amber light.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">This is the special quality that the light has here at this time of the year since the sunlight is filtered through the orange and yellow leaves.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">I was so much at peace here once and
my heart aches for that old lost familiar feeling.</span></div>
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Is happiness a place? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Despite the golden light and know its more than the
place. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">For soon these leaves will fall and then the forest will be barren and
waiting for Spring.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">But I would always find new iconic moments</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif;">.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">While things are getting better and better still have not come to that happy joyful place of peace.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">We do all the things in Knoxville that we have missed - I get my hair cut from the charming Venezuelan lady who dismisses all my sentimentality and says I am "lucky to get out from this sleepy place"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">She cuts my hair like only she can( with a razor not a scissor) !!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">We have tea with our neighbours.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "segoe ui light" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"> Lucy is a very charming person and when you sit drinking tea with her you find yourself slowing down </span><br />
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Lucy's daughter has just got married very happily and they are super happy.Their step grand son has aspergers and they feel really equipped to understand him because of R<br />
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We also hang our with our other neighbors who urge us to return to Knoxville.<br />
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R cries the last night - when we go to eat at an Italian place we love - and says that he is really really sad ( oh how I love that he types up his feelings for us now )<br />
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Though like all small children, he is swiftly distracted by some pizza dough that the server gives us for him to knead into a pizza ( she is coincidentally training to be an OT)<br />
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Its these casual kindnesses of Southerners that makes me love them.<br />
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For it seems that everywhere we go there is that peculiar acceptance of Autism that is relaxed and casual.<br />
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Readers- its with such a pang that we leave.<br />
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<br />
Though at the airport I meet a person who tells me that it takes 3 years to start thinking of a new place as home !<br />
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Where is home?<br />
<br />
As the plane lands in Seattle-Tacoma airport -it also quixotically feels like coming home.<br />
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As we enter the house - messy -as we had left in a hurry ( as per usual) - I feel a sense of setting down<br />
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<b>R's birthday </b><br />
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The next weekend is R's birthday - Can you believe he is 9 years old<br />
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When did this tiny little baby get to be 9 ?<br />
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As per usual his list for his birthday is simple. he wants<br />
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<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Double tree by Hilton</li>
<li>Hugs </li>
<li>Bed time with Mama </li>
</ul>
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Wee have booked a night in Olympia so we will also get to see Rachel and Mr daddy - who have promised to drive down<br />
<br />
We plan to meet in <a href="http://vicspizzaoly.com/" target="_blank">Vic's Pizzeria</a>-<br />
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A friend who lived in Seattle told me about the "best pizza" you will every eat.<br />
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You guys - its a regular place in a strip mall.<br />
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But I have never eated pizza like this - Just Stunning<br />
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As always meeting Rach and Mr Daddy and Itty is amazing. We cannot stop talking and we make them promise to come spend the day with us<br />
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When I see children like Itty - who are so nice and accepting of R - it really feels good<br />
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<b>9 years old </b><br />
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DH put the hammer down today and made sure we sort through a bunch of "crap that you and your son have choked up the box room with"<br />
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As I start putting R's little baby clothes today - all the things that I have stored up - even his hospital tag - I just cry buckets<br />
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The day I put that hospital tag on my hand - I had no idea how difficult and lovely life would be.<br />
<br />
All the hardness and difficulty I thought at that time was about sleepless nights and diapers and all the things all moms in hospital think about<br />
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I never thought about things like Autism and Crohns<br />
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But you guys I also had no idea how awesome it would be to be R's mom.<br />
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That is the funny thing about life.<br />
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You think about all the things you want and then you look back at yourself and think that you did not know what the heck you were talking about<br />
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I am so sorry that I have not been around your blogs at all these past few weeks. As you can see its been a whirlwind.<br />
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Thanks for stopping by and I promise to come see you soon too .<br />
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Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-35151779703325203072013-10-19T18:12:00.003-04:002013-10-19T21:43:24.850-04:00Days in my life - The second week of October <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Dear reader, </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am getting once again into the habit of writing down a little bit each night as the day is done. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The idea is to reflect on each day and enjoy it both by thinking about it consciously and also saving it away for a later read. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Those of you who journal regularly know the delicious pleasure of wondering well what you were doing on October 2009 and then reliving that month 4 years ago at the click of a button.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Saturday</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I look at the weather forecast as soon as I wake up and I am so excited that the next 10 days are sunny. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">However clearly the sky does not have the app as the sky is grey and its as emerald green as ever.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">DH and I are both sick. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">He is more so .</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I make reproachful noises, as I am the one who has to go down to make tea. (ginger tea- made with the special leaves that Sandra gave us which you can buy only in India - my solution for all ails)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We loll about in bed and face time with R's grandma who is so happy to see him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I try to get him to read a poem to her which he does lackadaisically!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Then its time to rush.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Even though R's social skills class is at 11.30 -invariably our lolling-about-ways mean that its always a rush to get there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">His social skills class is in a Farm where there is a fair on. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">DH and I go to shop for groceries - he is so exhausted that he naps in the car while I go to Walmart and Target. </span><br />
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131012_014_zps9142895a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131012_014_zps9142895a.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh how I loathe grocery shopping!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Then we get home. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I make lunch with the air of a martyr and make only healthy food ( a stir fry salad- no meat) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">This is my silent revenge </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We relax but then R starts to whine about going to the park. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The park is great. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So lovely and not crowded at all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">One reason why I love the fall.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am finding my smart phone irresistible and make a mental note to put it down more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I ask R "<i>Say anything to me "</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">R obligingly doles out a fact " <i>the lake is the duck's habitat" </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">(He is reading about ecosystems and his favorite joke is to tell me " <i>the lake is saltwater". </i>What he lacks in wit, he makes up in enthusiasm) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The ducks are approaching us -fearless and ferocious </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I ask R - "<i>What do the ducks want?"</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"<i>They want my cupcake</i>" - he answers fearfully.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">As soon as we are back - he wants to take picture of the elevator at the Sports club </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We do our usual shameful routine of going to the sports club - but not exercising like the huffing and puffing people virtuously doing their hamster routines on the treadmill . </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Instead we take pics of the elevator and buy his Giant cookie (I note that the nutrition facts say that this one cookie has two servings ) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Then R quickly remembers that he was a very good boy in Miss Rocco's class and his Dad had promised him a restaurant meal .</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So off we go to Canyons. I don't know if it is because we are tired - but its extra loud and noisy and exhausting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">R LOVES eating out and he is really easy to take to retsuatrnsts ( as long as they have either fried chicken or pizza)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We are so tired by the time we get back that its just some TV (Elementary) some grapes </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And time for Bed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We choose a letter( P ) and read 2 words with P </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Power and Present. I try to describe what Power is - but R chimes in " <i>The power is off</i>" To tell me he knows about electricity </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We read "<i>The Tiger"</i> by William Blake. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I think its a wonderful poem but the language has too many oddities for an autistic child.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I ask R what he thinks William Blake feels about the tiger. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"<i>He likes it"</i> R answers simply </span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">SUNDAY </span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We cook and rest all day and watch movies. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Its a perfect Sunday - every week should have a day like this </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">R's community trip is to the library , they are working on maps. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Mrs. D comes back shocked at how amazing his sense of direction and visual spatial reasoning is - he can walk through a room and point out exactly where everything is on a handwritten map- example exact spot they parked in.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131013_004_zps4a07bfbc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131013_004_zps4a07bfbc.jpg" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>"I keep thinking its dumb luck and he kept proving me wrong" </i>she says </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We watch a lovely movie called Talaash - its made by one of my favorite actors directors Amir Khan - </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I have been avoiding this movie as its about a couple whose 8 year old son dies by drowning.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">One snippet I have seen of this movie - where the family is lolling about in the morning has convinced me that its so like us and since the child dies I do not want to see it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But OMG the movie is wonderful .( I thought it was about kidnapping and its not - thank goodness) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We also watch a small bit of a terrible movie where a bra less Kiera Knightley and her husband are each on the verge of having affairs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Whether they actually do have the affair's or not - we shall never find out as its too incredibly boring. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I don't understand why movies and literature have made so much of infidelity. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Its terribly boring as each time its dealt with the usual cliches.(irresistible passion/bored with mundane married life etc)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In the night R and I write a journal. he tries to write just the facts ( <i>we drank sprite</i> ) and I keep trying to intersperse tidbits of emotional things ( y<i>ou were upset because you forgot to bring the green straw) </i></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Monday </span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">A great book I am reading is called <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiness-Advantage-Principles-Performance/dp/0307591549" target="_blank">The happiness advantage.</a>See his amazing Ted Talks <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html" target="_blank">here</a>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Its basic premise that you think that once good things happen to you - you will be happy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But instead, if you <u>start </u>with Happiness -its an advantage in life as it makes you more predisposed to success.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It put me in the mood for a good day - which I sorely needed as it was an emotional day at work with some re-orgs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In the evening some of my friends came over for Margaritas ( made by DH ) and snacks and we sat around the dining table and relaxed and chatted.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">R came upstairs - I had already primed him that we would not be going to the park that day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But he wanted to make sure that our guests did not spend the night so he told them that they should "g<i>o far away on Monday</i> " and that he would set the timer for 90 minutes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">When the timer went off he came and urged our guests to leave . </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Thankfully they are good friends and did not mind his encouraging pushes to the door to get things going.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">These are terrible manners but I am so touched by the honesty of R .</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">At night he is in tears as he reconciled himself to the reality of not having had the indoor picnic(a compromise picnic where R eats his junk food inside the house) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Sadly indoor picnic has been missed because my alcohol tolerance is very low and I am tipsy after a single margarita !!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">He draws this on my Surface</span><br />
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/crying_zps4d60b705.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/crying_zps4d60b705.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We learned 3 new words from the dictionary .This is our tradition now- our words were <i>daughter </i>, <i>danger </i>and <i>delicious </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We had eaten too many snacks so I came downstairs and instead of dinner I gave DH what I call the low blood pressure cocktail - oatmeal + walnuts+ low fat milk.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We see Mentalist and How I met your mother and now its time to go to bed </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Tuesday </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Yesterday when R was upset about the park I had promised to take him to two picnics today <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Sadly he has great
memory and remembers my promise and after a 10 hour work day I find that I
have to go to 2 parks <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131015_005_zps18a21179.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131015_005_zps18a21179.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh well – he is so
tired when he has to write his journal – he falls asleep halfway through a sentence. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Today I went to Idylwood park and Ardmore….<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Wenesday </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I have 11 meetings. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
Then I come home and R is squeaking for snacks and entertainment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />He wants to go to Archstone Apartment. I think it is a great idea to learn about maps - so we google it and get directions . </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">As I turn left on 40th street - R protests from the back " <i>not that way .. another way"</i> so I know we were not going to the
place he was dreaming of <br /><br />
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I let him guide me and we reach Archstone Campus ( 2 places with the same name - how ridiculous) <br /><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am wondering why he wanted to go there and then suddenly the horror dawns on me - he wants to take pictures of all the alphabets which is how the apartments are labeled.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As we drive back I </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">tell him that I understand how much he likes alphabets and numbers but now</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">
that he is almost 9 years old it was time to do things like multiplication </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">and division.</span></div>
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He says sadly "<i>They are for babies"</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i>
I feel bad for him . </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">There are so many things he likes to do( like snuggling , Baby Einstein videos) that are for babies. We wrote a nice journal today.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I help him with the grammar in the beginning but then he </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">grabs the iPad from me .</span></div>
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I am amused that he corrected all my spellings - even a shopping list he saw in my notes - t I had written "Sushi" - which is a word he
does not know - so he thought of the closest approximation and wrote it
"Susie".<br /><br />
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Too funny <br /><br />
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Anyway here is the journal <br />
<br />
<br /><b><u>
R'sjournal </u></b><br />
<br /><i>
Today I was very sleepy<br />
I went to miss Marla...<br />
I went to work with miss Kate . Miss Kate did not draw Mrs claus Then I ate<br />
chicken After that, I went to miss Angie school. I played wii Then mama came<br />
home from officer in Mama and I went to Archstone. The first one was not the<br />
right one.<br />
We drove back to idylwood park.<br />
On the way we saw the Archstone that I wanted to go to.<br />
We drove to the Archstone. We took a photo of the letter B.<br />
Then we go home Then we fell the floor<br />
We drink sprite We brush her teeth We rinse your mouth then we washed face<br />
and hands We sleep mother</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thursday </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am too tired to write tonight as it was a long day so here is R's journal instead. Iam in parenthesis</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u><br /></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u>Thursday </u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Today I worked with miss
Brittany. I pushed and spun on the swing.<br />
I talked about yesterday.<br />
Then we played on the iPad.<br />
Then we talked about what I did.<br />
Then I ate pizza<br />
Then mama came home ( B</i>TW I came home so that DH and I could go to the disability fair that was being held by Microsoft - but I had to tell R that I was taking DH to get an injection. This did not deter him and he is willing to get an injection for the sake of being with us<i>) .</i><br /><i>
Then I worked with Miss Kate Then we ate chicken.</i><br /><i>
Then we go to the center. I worked with josh. </i><br /><i>
Then I came home.</i><br /><i>
Then mama came home.then we went to aegis( </i>BTW this is a memory care place -<br />
that is close to us - people with Alzheimer's - the caregivers there were<br />
very sweet and showed us all around and even gave R chocolate <i>) . we saw</i><br /><i>
old people there.</i><br /><i>
I saw a canoe.( t</i>his was a fake camp are they had created for their<br />
residents - it was indoors but they made it look just like a camp<i> ) </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br />
I went to idylwood park.we saw geese. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>A woman came to talk to us.mama and </i><i>the woman talked about the moon. The woman had a boy and a baby ( </i>this I had to interrogate him on as he usually sees the world while ignoring all<br />
the random people in it )<i> We came home ate dinner and played wii. </i><i>And then mama did treadmill . We did sleep mother.</i><br /><i>
It was a good day </i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Friday </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">As you know he is going to the school near by for social group. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I went to meet to get the IEP signed. His teacher says he is ignoring everyone there<br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In the social group he<br />• Slouches<br />• Ignores<br />• Lack of response discourages peers from responding<br />• He does not acknowledge peers by name </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I had taken fresh hot buttery muffins and since the meeting was at 7.30 am on a cold Fall day - and the muffins were just out of the oven- they were much appreciated. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I also show them some of the things he is doing at home. They are good people and we brainstorm some ideas.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">As I do his bedtime routine at the end of a lovely week I reflect on how humbling life is . </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">While R makes so much progress and is in so many ways a dream child - his social limitations are profound </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">DH and I sit in bed in our down comforter and chat about the balance of pushing and accepting. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tomorrow is another day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">This weekend we meet with our home therapy group and I know we will find some ways to move onwards and forward.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Always onward and forward.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #3c3a35; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px;">Right upward the oak-tree is growing,</span><br style="color: #3c3a35; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px;" /><span style="color: #3c3a35; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px;"> Forth-waving its leaves in the sun,</span><br style="color: #3c3a35; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px;" /><span style="color: #3c3a35; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px;">And deep in the green earth is sowing</span><br style="color: #3c3a35; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px;" /><span style="color: #3c3a35; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px;"> The seed of a forest to come.</span></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #3c3a35; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px;"><br /></span></span></i></div>
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Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-26204982242751635602013-10-12T02:27:00.001-04:002013-10-12T18:16:59.226-04:00Fall in Seattle <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The unbelievably
glorious summer days are over.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Fall has begun.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">All
these years in Tennessee – fall was my favorite season but the summers of the
Pacific Northwest are spectacular and have almost replaced Fall as my favorite. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I and DH
put out all our Fall decorations. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">There is something so settling about welcoming season.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The hybrid homeschool <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">This is
the first summer that I am not desolate when its over (though I will miss the
lovely blue skies). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The
reason is that R is not going to regular school this fall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> He goes to our neighborhood school for some
speech therapy and social therapy but the rest of the week he has a combo of: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; text-indent: -0.25in;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">ABA based school</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; text-indent: -0.25in;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Homeschool</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; text-indent: -0.25in;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">ST+ OT</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; text-indent: -0.25in;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Community trips (more in this below)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; text-indent: -0.25in;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Social skills</span></li>
</ul>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">He works
about 40-50 hours a week (pretty hard I think). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">But he
has <u>so much</u> to learn and we keep it fun. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">DH and I
are trying to create a thread of steel through everything we are learning. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">So
ABA and homeschool is about ecosystems- that is the kind of books we look at in
the library.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Community trips<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">His
Sunday Therapist’s job is an ABA therapist and her job is simply to take him to
a field trip and write an essay on the field trip. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">This then is linked back to
his regular school curriculum. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">For example, last Saturday his teacher took him to the police
station and the pet store<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/IMAG0694_zps07f7f444.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/IMAG0694_zps07f7f444.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">They
are so nice to him at the police station</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Since
the station is empty – officer Rebeca lets him sit inside a squad car and even
puts the lights on for him <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The
second trip is to the fish store - they have
the fish neatly labeled as freshwater fish
and salt water fish. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">There is nothing that R loves more than a well labeled
system.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Evening Rituals <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">R
and I of course continue with our weekend routines of going to the park and
having a picnic. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">He
is very jealous of our time here and does not allow me to talk to people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">He
has many tricks to enable this. For instance if we are on the swing, he will
quickly instruct me to count. If we are out and about he will run to a faraway
picnic bench.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131006_006_zps7a6665ec.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131006_006_zps7a6665ec.jpg" /></a></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">DH
has been exiled from the park outing- owing to the fact that one day he came
with us and then teased R by taking his baton and walking off with it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> R does
not understand teasing at all and so this family ritual is over</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">A pity as I used to love the time we
had all three of us – me and DH with our tidbits of grapes and cheese and R
with his bounty of junk food. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">There is always something interesting to look at in the park.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I
meet many foreigners in the park. I am very interested in what they do to
strike up a conversation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Indian
people invariably ask – “<i>do you live close by- which road” </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">This
is a quick classification to figure out whether you live in a house(which
means you have arrived) or in an Apartment( which means not yet)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The next question is where you
work. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">For white people – these questions would be quite stalkerish but Indians
always like to classify people and I am never offended.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Some
of the women look </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">lonely. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The life of an immigrant can be very tough. Especially
if you are not too close to your husband. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">As arranged marriage is quite common
in India still and so you can get married to someone you barely know and move
to a brand new country.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">DH
and I are super close and are able to go anywhere as we are
our own ecosystem and never feel lonely as we always have each other to talk to
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I
chatted with one of the ladies yesterday (I see her every day and always
thought she was aloof but turns out she is very eager to talk and is just shy) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">She
said that it was so grey every day that she just has to come out and not be
stuck in the house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">She
said apologetically that she was an engineer but now "just a homemaker".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I tear
up a little at this (there is nothing to apologize for being a homemaker of
course – but to feel that whatever you are doing is less than what you are
supposed to is a sad feeling to have. I am very familiar with this feeling as I
felt guilty for a long time after R’s diagnosis for being a working mom.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">One
days there is a silent Japanese lady
fishing – R is enthralled at all the fish in her bucket.(though he is very
la-di-da and uninterested in the fishing rod that DH has bought for him)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131006_016_zps69e10c8b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131006_016_zps69e10c8b.jpg" /></a></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">There
are some couples who are so bundled up with barely their noses showing though
its only 60 degrees.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">We feed the ducks - who recognize us as people who feed them and are getting to be quite obnoxious in their demands for food and are oblivious to my go aways</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Picture taken by R </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131006_008_zpscddec7e2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131006_008_zpscddec7e2.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Letters writing rituals <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">My
father, sister and I have started an email chain. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">We write
to each other everyday. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Getting an email everyday is such a treat as I get to know the
little bits and pieces that otherwise no one thinks to share. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">For instance, this little snippet from my sister's life , my nephew –
whose English is not so good is asked to make sentences and here is what he
makes <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br />
l. Horror -This movie is horror<br />
2. Chilly - This water is full of chilly and ice<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I
smile over these details all day and it makes me feel so close to my family
though we meet for 10 days every other year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Bed Time Rituals <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">R
and I have started a routine of reading poems at bed time. I think he loves the
rhythm in rhymes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">It also
helps us have little conversations <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The other day, we are
reading about loneliness and I wondered if he knew the word. Here is what we discuss.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Me : R
do you ever feel lonely <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">R : Yes<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Me: What
kind of feeling is it <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">R : Very
sad <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Me: What
do you do when you feel lonely <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">R : We
can go to Chloes house ( the recent vacation in Canada – where we all did
nothing but eat and relax and play video games and chat ) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">An Autism Event <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">It seems that everywhere you turn in Seattle – there is someone with Autism. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Microsofties – particularly seem to have a lot of autistic children ( they says
Engineers have a higher chance of having kids with autism) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">One of
the charity events this year is a Zumba class.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Lo and
behold – when I get to the event – the class is being taught by an autistic girl. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">She is obviously autistic ( in the middle) but teaches the class really well. She is also going
to college and studying to be a radiologist.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131007_005_zpsef2f40c8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131007_005_zpsef2f40c8.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I Zumba through my tears and the feeling comes over me for the first time this year that I am exactly
where I should be.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">(For my heart is still in Knoxville – the sweet kind company
I worked for, the slow pace of life- and I dream of it often. The dreams are so
real- full color and I wake up with dismay in the emerald-grey present) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Gratitude Journal <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">A ritual
that DH (reluctantly ) and I have
started what I call the gratitude journal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Every
night before sleeping we write down 3 things we are grateful for that day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">It’s a
very nice thing – we try to keep it at the small stuff – in the details as the
whole point is to focus on the little joys that the day brought <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Example one days good things were:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Playing with R - he pays attention now – Instead of simply
lining up the trains by number we read the poem of Henry's ballad. He and I do a little play with the Little Einsteins people<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131001_001_zps5e27a170.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Fall%20In%20Seattle/WP_20131001_001_zps5e27a170.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Started watching Newsroom - its epic <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Red grapes from Costco -
was starving and found a bowl of washed cut red grapes <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Had 2 meetings while
walking <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">It’s a very
nice way to end the day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">DH and I
had got into a routine of discussing our to-do list and our worries at bedtime
and this is a much better way to end the day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Its not
that things are easier. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">All of
us are sick – DH especially so with a really bad cold that has left him
exhausted. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Work is as stressful as ever. And R continues to need more than we can give and then some.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">But it’s
about a shift in focus to the little joys of life <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Gratitude
is a practice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Happiness
is a verb<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-76591602585236312272013-09-22T17:36:00.000-04:002013-09-22T17:36:00.726-04:00September: The start of year 2 in Seattle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Segoe UI Light', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Dear readers - a whole year has gone by in Seattle - while we still "feel new", it also feels like ages since we left Tennessee.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Segoe UI Light', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">here is how September been </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">A
Developing R<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Making Songs <o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">You all know how much music has been a part of
our lives in raising R –it continues to be
a short cut to him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">R has been making all these Old Mc Donald songs
about everything <b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Like “<i>Old
Mac Donald had an Idylwood park</i>” (which he has clearly thought about before
as in fact this park has many ducks ) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/summer%20in%20seattle%202013/WP_20130813_003_zpsacb20025.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/summer%20in%20seattle%202013/WP_20130813_003_zpsacb20025.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">When it came to Old Mac Donald had a Cascades
view park – he had to say “And in that park he had some ….. Kids” (as there are
no animals there ) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I was waiting to say what he would use for the
sound that kids make – but he made me laugh </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">when he said “<i>With a say-say here and a say-say there</i> “ ( implying that the kids
were saying things !!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Remembering old friends <o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> I love
that while he has made so many new friends he has not forgotten his old ones .
Any time we play with some toy that he played with his beloved Miss Gypsi or
Miss Sadie or Miss Kristen he will quickly tell me </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><i><br />
“miss gypsi play with me and baby Beethoven”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">God<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">While R and I say a simple prayer of gratitude
at bedtime – we have no idea that he gets the concept of god<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Recently, we all went to the Ganesh temple
to celebrate Lord Ganesh’s birthday and when I asked him what he was planning
to pray for, he said unexpectedly “<i>I want to pray for a trumpet</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Then he told me that “<i>first we go to temple ,, then we pray for trumpet .. then we go buy
trumpet”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We had to break it to him that prayers do not
work like that </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Segoe UI Light"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Light"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Segoe UI Light"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> but it made us smile when he said
later that he would like to pray for
money. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I think god appreciates the honesty of these simple thoughts <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Other kids <o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Segoe UI Light, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">One thing where R
does not seem to be really transferring skills- is in the social area. While he
has certainly beein going to social skills classes and apparently doing quite
well too – he still mostly avoids other kids. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Segoe UI Light, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">In Portland we met some of DH’s </span></span><span style="font-family: Segoe UI Light, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 16.799999237060547px;">friends</span></span><span style="font-family: Segoe UI Light, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> whose kids had a Wii.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The girls were so
sweet in letting him play with their Wii and not even asking to play with him.
But let alone appreciating the favor that these kiddos were doing for him, he
was going into the settings of their video games and changing them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Its always hard to
take R anywhere as he immediately starts to whine but we are telling him that
its really important to do some things that he does not exactly want to
do - because everyone’s interests must be taken into account.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This is a tough
lesson for him to grock.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">He does so many funny things to make us laugh<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The other day, he handed me a large lump from
his nose and told me to please put it in the trash <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Homeschooling <o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Is really going well. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">R loves it so much more than regular school. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
other day R and I were playing the alphabet game at the park – where I pick a
letter and tell him to name something with it <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I picked A and asked him to name a teacher with A. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">When he was quiet – I answered for him “Miss Alyssa” from his regular school –
he quickly changed my answer to “Miss Angie” who is a teacher at his new home-school. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The therapist who runs the program says that all
the therapists want to work with him because he is “<i>so interesting”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">When I told my MIL this over the phone, she said
that it was because he was one of the “hopeful cases” (kid that makes progress)
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I don’t agree though. In TN, most of the kids
that had an Autism diagnosis were quite obviously autistic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Here in WA, I feel that R is one of the more classically
autistic child. Most kids that I have met here with an autism diagnosis –seem
to be more mildly affected (good eye contact, playing with other kids etc. )
while R is more obviously on the A team.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I think it’s simply that he is a very interesting
and endearing child- with or without autism <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> Or maybe
I think that because I am his mother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Segoe UI Light', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><u>Crohn’s</u><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We came to the hospital today to prepone his
Remicade infusion – he has started
having symptoms once again and the doc is thinking that maybe the Remicade
doses are too far apart ( 8 weeks) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We have tried a lot of natural methods as well –
adding a lot of greens like Kale and Spinach that are helpful in reducing inflammation.
We are also giving him extra turmeric (which is magic for inflammation ) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Segoe UI Light, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Its quite easy to fix the dose so we are not
worried ( or </span></span><span style="font-family: Segoe UI Light, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 16.799999237060547px;">at least</span></span><span style="font-family: Segoe UI Light, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> trying not to) <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Vacation <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Segoe UI Light', sans-serif;">The trick to being happy with change is to focus on the good thing
that change brings instead of the focusing on the things you miss about the old
ways.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif";">And
there is plenty to enjoy. First, our beautiful house (which we love a lot more
than our rambling old house that we lived in Knoxville - I used to tell DH that
I wanted to live in a fat house and now we do). Second, being in a part
of the country that we have never seen before and finally, of
course all the autism services here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif";">But one thing we really miss about our TN life - is how much we used to vacation. Just having the cabin means that we used to have a little holiday every weekend.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif";">We
realize that on Sep 1 we completed an
entire year in Seattle -</span><span style="font-family: 'Segoe UI Light', sans-serif;">And
in all that time we have not taken a single trip outside WA !!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif";">We
decided to rectify this immediately on the last day of the first year (so we
would never have to say that there was a year when we did not vacation at all) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif";"><u>Vacation in Portland</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We go to Portland and visit the Rose Garden. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Lovely%20Canada%20Portland%20and%20Idaho/1274994_10151836300253467_1764627466_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Lovely%20Canada%20Portland%20and%20Idaho/1274994_10151836300253467_1764627466_o.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We are in a
residence inn hotel and its very good – we have our traditions for these hotels
– eating the buffet breakfast.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We meet friends - we also meet boat people - a couple who have decided to say that they would like to eschew regular life and just live on a boat.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I chat with the lady and she tells me that I must try it. This below is her.</span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/summer%20in%20seattle%202013/WP_20130901_010_zps0f40673b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/summer%20in%20seattle%202013/WP_20130901_010_zps0f40673b.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><u>Canada </u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We also decide to go to Calgary in Alberta, Canada.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">As per usual, I want to fly and DH wants to
drive. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">DH does not like public transport
as he feels he is “<i>at the mercy</i>” of another driver <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I, on the other hand , think of finding clean restrooms,
the long hours in the car. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Still I agree to his plan- mostly as I tell him
for the great pleasure of telling him” I told you so”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">But guys – the 1600 miles is breathtaking. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">DH and I get loads of time to talk and talk in the car- which we do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">And what we see outside is spectacular </span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Lovely%20Canada%20Portland%20and%20Idaho/994601_10151836149123467_704801044_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Lovely%20Canada%20Portland%20and%20Idaho/994601_10151836149123467_704801044_n.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We go to Banff National park and its paradise. I have told DH that he must scatter my ashes here. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Somewhere where a mountain( not a hill ) meets a lake. </span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Lovely%20Canada%20Portland%20and%20Idaho/1239139_10151836268483467_1792098553_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Lovely%20Canada%20Portland%20and%20Idaho/1239139_10151836268483467_1792098553_o.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Lovely%20Canada%20Portland%20and%20Idaho/1262850_10151836263163467_1703339816_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Lovely%20Canada%20Portland%20and%20Idaho/1262850_10151836263163467_1703339816_o.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Lovely%20Canada%20Portland%20and%20Idaho/994601_10151836149118467_1060388251_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Lovely%20Canada%20Portland%20and%20Idaho/994601_10151836149118467_1060388251_n.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We picnic in paradise </span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Lovely%20Canada%20Portland%20and%20Idaho/994601_10151836149128467_836061448_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Lovely%20Canada%20Portland%20and%20Idaho/994601_10151836149128467_836061448_n.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We stay in the house of one of DH’s Engineering
College roommates. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">They are just so wonderful and know just how to
treat R. (Ignore him mostly – let him wander around and let him play with
their Wii) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Sandra makes me tear up one day when I am
trying to pile up all the discs in their boxes neatly. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">“<i>Let it be.. He likes to spread it all around.. so he can see it all in
one glance” <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Such insight!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">She reminds me so much of my sister. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Their daughter (4) is amazing as is Ivor and we
are so much at home in their place that its very hard to leave once the weekend
is over<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Lovely%20Canada%20Portland%20and%20Idaho/1262850_10151836263173467_1160669666_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/Facebook/Lovely%20Canada%20Portland%20and%20Idaho/1262850_10151836263173467_1160669666_o.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We are definitely coming back - look what we missed in this trip- p</span><span style="font-family: 'Segoe UI Light', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">ics by Ivor who is an artist ( engineer by profession) but in regular life an amazing cook and photographer</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Segoe UI Light', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Here is Lake Louise </span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/summer%20in%20seattle%202013/20130629_Lake_Louise_024_zps0e3cd120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/summer%20in%20seattle%202013/20130629_Lake_Louise_024_zps0e3cd120.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Segoe UI Light', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Here is a view of the Canadian Rockies</span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/summer%20in%20seattle%202013/20130721_Rockies_013_zps0e15fb5d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/summer%20in%20seattle%202013/20130721_Rockies_013_zps0e15fb5d.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Here is Lake Maligne</span></div>
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/summer%20in%20seattle%202013/20130630_Lake_Maligne_010_zps30a8a400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/summer%20in%20seattle%202013/20130630_Lake_Maligne_010_zps30a8a400.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I am in love with Canada.</span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Physical health and Wellness <o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I turned 39 this week. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I have had the most amazing birthday thanks to DH, my family and of course R who is mad for birthdays like he is mad for Christmas ( which you know is saying something) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This year I have gained 15-20 pounds( that too without enjoying it) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I am
quite worried about the weight gain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">One very
interesting thing that a dietician said to my friend was <i>“you have to eat like
a thin person ... not like a fat person
who is on a diet all the time”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This is what I have
seen about all the naturally thin people – is that they really don’t care about
food. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">They naturally eat less and don’t have automatic association with food as celebration
or comfort as plump people do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I have also wondered
if I am eating too much unconsciously <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">But after writing a
food diary many days as to what I am eating and how much – I am convinced it’s
not just the attitude about food or the calories. It’s something else <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I go and meet a
wellness coach, who asks me to describe my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">She tells me about
the important relationship between stress, lack of sleep, Vitamin D, cortisol (stress hormone)
and weight gain and that to lose weight I need to lose the stress.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">DH and I are on a
diet but I think rather than think about just the calories we put in our mouth,
and the minutes I spend on the treadmill (though those are essential). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I think it’s about
the amount of stress I am letting inside my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">More on this
experiment later.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">How do you cope
with stress? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-85177569281252187002013-09-03T06:01:00.000-04:002013-09-03T06:01:06.847-04:00Looking ahead<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">When difficult things happen to us we can obsess over why this happened. But the question to as is not "why" but "what now"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">I write about this on <a href="http://www.hopefulparents.org/" target="_blank">Hopeful Parents today</a> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">For readers who don't like to click on links .. full post below</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;"><strong>Looking Ahead</strong> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">DH and I are driving back from a naturopath whom we have visited for Crohn’s disease <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif";"><span style="font-size: medium;">He tries to explain what may have caused Crohn’s. He tells us that maybe it’s the lack of sun in the Temperate zone that a hurts a child of Asian origin. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">Then he adds that another cause could be unusual bacteria in the tropical zones (since we visit India every couple of years) that is may have caused Crohn’s.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">We are shaking our heads about it in the car.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">Which is it? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">Should we have not moved to a temperate zone? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">Or should we have stayed in the temperate zone and never visited the tropical zone?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">As it turns out that – that just like Autism, for Crohns too – no one knows anything definitively.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">There are many plausible and contradictory theories and there is plenty of fodder for parents to torture themselves over what they could have done to prevent it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">If it were not for my years of Autism parenting, this conversation would have set me on a tail spin of guilt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">But, Autism has taught me that obsessing about causes and your role in those causes is toxic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">Much better to spend your energy thinking about what helps and what heals.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">It’s no that different than when other bad things that happen to us<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">We always ask “why me”, we obsess on reconstructing that event in a way that could have prevented it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">People who have been in car accidents seem to go over and over again all the ways in which they could have been prevented – if they had just left the house a little later, decided not to go to that grocery store that day, lingered a little longer or little lesser over coffee that morning. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">An aunt with the hip fracture obsesses, if she had only seen the slick of water, bought those non-slip slippers, eaten that calcium etc.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">But there are no do-overs in life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">Bad things happen and they can happen any time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">We can eat the calcium, the purified omega 3’s, the folic acids and the organic food, look both sides of the road while crossing and get all our annual checkups and it is very good for us but its never enough.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">Accepting this fact is very freeing </span><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">Don’t look back. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">Don't ask why me<o:p></o:p></span><br /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">Don't even ask why </span><br /><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif"; font-size: medium;">Ask only what now</span> </div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light","sans-serif";">And l</span><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Light", sans-serif;">ook ahead for this life is no dress rehearsal</span></span></div>
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Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-82720343646431838152013-08-13T20:35:00.000-04:002013-08-14T13:37:32.577-04:00The start of goodness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>An Internal reorg </b><br /><br />I came to an uncomfortable realization that these past few months most of my thoughts are centered on work. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">It’s not just that my work day is long and intense (which it is).</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">But that I carry it in my mind everywhere.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Its how I define a good day or a bad day and my self-worth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /> It only changes when we are in crisis ( like Crohn’s) <br /><br />I am trying to change this<br />
</span><span style="font-size: small;">Every day as I walk into the house.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">I visualize mentally put down the work day along with my laptop. <br /><br />When we are fully engaged in R -OMG what a difference in him<br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">He is just as autistic (as he always was). <br /><br /> It’s just that he is engaged and autistic, which is the other realization that DH and I have come to </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">that R is ...<br /><br /><strong>Growing up Autistic</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><strong></strong><br /> After so much therapy( 6 years ) - he is growing up 100% autistic. <br /><br />All the therapy has been totally worth it as its brought about engagement and communication but R is still fully autistic <br /><br />One of his bedtime poems is by Edgar Allan Poe <br />
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A lines makes me so sad is <br /><br /><em>“And all I loved, I loved alone”</em><br /><br />It makes me wonder if that is what the experience of being Autistic in a world of neurotypicals must be like. <br /><br />Not having anyone who finds interesting what you find interesting. <br /><br />Like even when DH and I watch TV - I get really mad, when he multitasks - because when something funny or stupid happens - I want to look across at him and I want him to acknowledge my eye roll.<br />
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( we are watching Grey's Anatomy right now and trust me,drippy Meredith Grey and her sappy love are giving us plenty of opportunity to roll eyes) <br />
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<br />His interests are just so peculiar but we try to be interested in them and build on all of them <br /><br />For instance he is enamored of the conductors and their batons <br /><br />DH orders a baton on ebay and I think R will pass out with excitement <br /><br />But I make sing songs and make him conduct me <br /><br />Another huge interest is going up and down elevators and taking photos of the numbers. <br /><br />so since 0 is missing in the floor, I take a photo of his hand that he shapes into a circle. So the series is complete <br />
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<a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/summer%20in%20seattle%202013/WP_20130729_009_zps98bd18e4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/rohanmom/summer%20in%20seattle%202013/WP_20130729_009_zps98bd18e4.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: small;">Or having a same size can of Fanta( which he will never drink) , next to the can of the Sprite( which he loves) <br /><br />Or the pleasures of trying to create the scenes that he has seen in a show <br /><br />But we try and see that we are with him in these things so exciting to him </span> <span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: small;"><br /><br /><strong>Naughtiness</strong> & <strong>Spontaneity</strong><br /><br />Ever since school ended ( even though he works around 30 hours a week atleast between tutoring and therapy) , he has so much more energy. <br /><br />Unfortunately some of this energy is getting used for evil :-)<br /><br />Twice this month he ran away at our fitness club<br /><br />I usually designate a naughty chair and make him sit on it for 5 minutes or give him consequence like no elevators ( his current obsession)</span><br />
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<br /> He weeps repentantly and is very very sorry but he somehow still cannot resist himself. <br /><br />What is truly incredible and a great gift is that now he has started to <u>plot</u> his crimes <br /><br />For instance he loves to buy apps and games from I tunes – <br />
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Since I refuse to buy the expi ones an – he makes me buy him a cheap app from ITunes ( like 99 cents) and then while the password is in there, he takes away the iPad and then buys the expi ones . <br />
This weekend we brought $45 worth of apps <br /><br />While this is truly terrible, we could not be more proud.<br /><br />Same with his eye medicine. Since he has a lazy eye- the strong one needs a patch/atropine. He found and hid both <br /><br />Once I explained that his weak eye would keep getting weaker and weaker unless he put on at least one of them – he went straight to his hiding place (downstairs dustbin, very bottom, he had added a lot of paper in the trash to “bury” the meds) <br />
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And he asks to do things <br />
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Like Bake cupcakes<br />
Color and decorate same cupcakes ( these activities would have been impossible a couple of years ago )<br />
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But there are still things we need to work on. We get to visit some dear friends who have darling children and find that as soon as R is tired - he has a hard time interacting with peers <br />
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<strong>Spontaneous Speech</strong> <br /><br />I love that R is going a little bit better in terms of chatting. <br />
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The other day I told him to write an email to Miss Gypsi <br />
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Here is what he wrote </div>
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Knoxville</li>
<li>Tennessee </li>
<li>Bakery </li>
<li>We go to McDonalds </li>
<li>Oak Ridge</li>
<li>Mother</li>
<li>We go to target </li>
<li>Cheese </li>
</ul>
</span> This most peculiar email is of course quite explicit to Miss G and me as he is remembering all the things he did with her ( "Cheese" is a mystery, Mother is related to when he met Miss G's mother and made Easter eggs with her ) <br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /><br /><strong>Homeschooling start</strong> <br /><br />Summer ends at the end of this month - but every year and we need to officially start with homeschooling <br /><br />We are busy trying to design the curriculum for R 3rd Grade Therapy classroom. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">This is not as easy as you would think !</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<strong>The start of goodness</strong><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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Despite so many things to the contrary, I am starting to feel a certain contentedness in life.</div>
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Everything about me -the contentment in my life, the feelings in my heart, how I come across to people, my home and how I see my whole world</div>
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It all starts with how I feel inside </div>
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And the contended grateful feelings are starting to come.</div>
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I am remembering to ask fewer questions about the troubles we are facing ( insomnia, crohns etc ) and thinking more about our gifts</div>
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The more grateful I am, the more grateful I become </div>
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<em>Gratitude to Gratitude always gives birth </em></div>
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<em>Sophocles</em> </div>
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Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-14463404509244652722013-07-28T10:00:00.000-04:002013-07-28T13:33:59.359-04:00July in Seattle <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
How is it always like this?<br />
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I think I will blog regularly , I will reflect more.<br />
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I will find 10 minutes to capture a bit of today - store away its pleasure for tomorrow<br />
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But the days pass in fast forward<br />
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And I find myself at the other end of the screen feeling that a month has gone by. <br />
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<b>Sunny days </b><br />
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July has dawned glorious and sunny .<br />
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This familiar green-grey landscape is transformed . The blues are so blue and the greens so green.<br />
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Every moment we can - we spend outside<br />
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Oh how I love these craggy green mountains<br />
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R takes his first hike in the gorgeous Mt Baker and walks 2 miles.<br />
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Snow in July?<br />
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Yes DH is making a SNOW ball.<br />
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What is super glamorous is that there are big signs saying "Avalanche area" all around<br />
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A nephew of ours who is doing a summer program at Brown comes to see us and spend a week .<br />
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He is really easy going and it makes me wonder what life would be like if R had a sibling ( though Z the nephew was an only child for a long time and says he loved it )<br />
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<b>Settled into a routine</b><br />
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There comes a time when you settle into a city when you know exactly what you will do every day and every weekend<br />
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For us the evenings revolve around going to the park , the weekend's revolve around going to the special park ( which for some reason has an AMAZING sensory playground ).<br />
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I have started reading/listening to books again <br />
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Just finished Mrs Dalloway- I have avoided Virginia Woolf until now as I thought it was a "should-read"- (Do you know what I mean?)<br />
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But its amazing.<br />
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This is a day in the life of a woman in post WW1 England.<br />
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As she goes through the day and you listen to her thoughts - you know everything about her whole life.<br />
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To me, its such a powerful thought that we carry our entire lives with us all the time. <br />
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Also read "The end of life book club"<br />
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In this book the author( really great author) talks about the power of a good opening line.<br />
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For instance Mrs Dalloway starts with "<i>Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself."</i><br />
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"<i>It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in
possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.</i> —Jane Austen, <i>Pride and Prejudice</i><br />
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Of course my favorite is "<i>The small boys came early to the hanging"</i> Ken Follett, Pillars of the earth <i> </i><br />
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<b>Starting to travel </b><br />
I am also starting to travel and this too has its own routine .. I usually take R with me to the office if I need to do last minute things like print off boarding cards<br />
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R colors on the white boards, while I finish by chores<br />
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And then when I am away, instead of enjoying "Me time" like my sensible colleagues do, i miss home .<br />
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<b>Crohns is back </b><br />
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A small flare blessedly .<br />
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But it has scared us .<br />
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Till now the infusion has been working beautifully - we have been able to forget he has Crohn's.<br />
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All we need to do is to spend a Friday morning in the hospital every 8 weeks.<br />
<br />
This too with our usual positivity we have turned into a family fun ritual and R quite looks forward to "medicine-in-arm" day <br />
<br />
But despite the meds, there is flare right before the infusion <br />
<br />
Plus R has a sore on the side of his nose that does not heal.<br />
<br />
I look it up on the web and see that many Crohns folks have this and this makes me cry and cry.<br />
<br />
I feel angry about Crohns.<br />
<br />
And I try to get peace with some of the Eastern Philosophy that I was raised with<br />
<br />
In the East, there is a very strong belief in destiny- as though everything that happens to you has already been determined<br />
<br />
The eastern story "<i>Appointment with Sammara </i>" depicts fatalism perfectly.<br />
<br />
Here is an excerpt from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appointment_in_Samarra" target="_blank">Wikipedia </a><br />
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<i>A merchant in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baghdad" title="Baghdad">Baghdad</a>
sends his servant to the market. Shortly, the
servant comes home white and trembling. In the
market he was jostled by a woman, whom he recognized as Death, and
she made a threatening gesture. Borrowing the merchant's horse, he flees
at top speed to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samarra" title="Samarra">Samarra</a>,
75 miles away so Death will not
find him. The merchant goes to the market and finds Death,
and asks why she made the threatening gesture. She replies, "That was
not a threat, it was only a start of surprise. I was
astonished to see him in Baghdad, for I had an appointment with him
tonight in Samarra." </i><br />
<br />
While Westerners believe that they are in charge of their destiny, Easterners believe that the life they are leading- has already been mapped out for them.<br />
<br />
This is a lot of comfort but I still cycle through the stages of grief.<br />
<br />
Why does our precious child's body attack itself from time to time? <br />
<br />
<b>Heal yourself by helping others </b><br />
<br />
DH and I meet up with a couple whose son has just been diagnosed.<br />
<br />
Its a gorgeous sunny day<br />
<br />
We eat pizza and chat. They are a delightful family.<br />
<br />
And their son is so sweet and cuddly - like R a few years ago that I can hardly stand it and must ( I love autistic children - I really do ) cuddle him constantly<br />
<br />
They want advice on coping with with Autism and as we talk about the changes in philosophy and perspective that are needed for a happy life with Autism, some of my peace starts coming back<br />
<br />
In this past year of change, stress and ill health, it seems like all I have done is <i>cope, </i>not live.<br />
<br />
I spend too much time thinking of work and not enough time thinking of R, our family, our marriage and what we need for our life to be a happy one ( despite everything )<br />
<br />
Its time to get my priorities in order.<br />
<br />
And make time in life, for living <br />
<br />
For like the Buddhist saying goes <br />
<br />
<i>" You must meditate for 20 minutes a day .. unless you have no time. if you have no time .. you must meditate for a full hour "</i><br />
<br />
Dear friends, like my own blog, I have neglected coming to say hello to your blogs. Promise to stop by and get connected.<br />
<br /></div>
Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920171049284403071.post-54226289149680712962013-06-25T10:00:00.000-04:002013-06-25T13:05:18.902-04:00June in Seattle <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>And I meet, coming through the dew</i></div>
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<i><i>Another summer's Day!</i></i></div>
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<i><i>-Emily Dickinson</i></i></div>
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Dear reader- where I live in Seattle people have warned us about the treacherousness of June<br />
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"June is better known as Junuary... bitterly cold" we are told<br />
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But June has come bursting with golden days.<br />
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<b>Outside </b><br />
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We spend as much time as we can outside<br />
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So many interesting things to discover in our city. Its as though this city of constant rain knows how to make the most of the 3 months of summer - so everywhere you turn - there is a park and a lake and a little place to sightsee<br />
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And <br />
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R is nothing if not a creature that loves tradition and every evening we are at the park to swing and have a little picnic of junk food </div>
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<b>A Sense of expanded time </b></div>
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I tell people that my 30's will be marked with just one factor -</div>
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A starvation of time. </div>
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The 40's dont look like they will be much better </div>
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Needing more time, wondering where the time went, gasping at how fast the weekends go by, trying to multitask ( which we all know does not work ), trying to do things faster, prioritising etc </div>
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These days I have found a new way to expand time </div>
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Which is to pretend that I have loads of time. </div>
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This really really works </div>
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Next time you have 30 minutes to go to the park, each minute act as though you have endless time </div>
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I look - really look at what is around me</div>
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I notice the bits of magic and whimsy all around me<br />
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I notice, this child's endless love, how when I push R in the swing - he puts his hand behind himself so I can low five him each time he swings to me<br />
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I learn from R as he stops and smells the roses <br />
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<br />
Oh I have so much to write and so little time<br />
<br />
But if I dont write, I will forget all about this special time and all the little things that made it special<br />
<br />
1. That DH and I are addicted to "The West Wing"<br />
2. The we eat a lot of mangoes and broccoli<br />
3. That R loves to match his clothes these days - his blue pJ's with blue green socks and blue shirt and his pink shirt with his Red PJ 's pictured above<br />
4. That these days we read poems at bedtime. Since they are from the days before political correctness - they are really quite inappropriate<br />
5. That we have drunk more Expresso these past few months than we have ever done before<br />
6. That I no longer ache( at least not all the time ) for my small southern town and am starting to feel settled<br />
7. That DH plays again ( squash )<br />
8. That DH had a massive impressive meeting proposing homeschooling and the support we needed from them ( by showing exhibits of his work - that in school R was counting 1-5 , while at home he was doing factors for multiplication )<br />
9. That R loved butterfly cookies<br />
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And a million more things that matter ohsomuch to me<br />
<br />
So here I am dear reader, writing from a W in Chicago after a 14 hour work day<br />
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For if I dont write, I will forget what happened<br />
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<i>“If you want to live a memorable life, you have to be the kind of person who remembers to remember.” — Joshua Foer</i><br />
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<br /></div>
Floortime Lite Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07988840423227903784noreply@blogger.com14